He had a burst of awake time and we got down on his mat to play. Didn't take to long before he fell over on me and I propped him so he could check out the toy.
His lab levels are still pretty low on quite a few things. Hoping to continue to see those improve but currently he's still not receiving enough protein and calories and all of those things to see huge drastic improvements.
His O2 has been running a touch low for him, but not worrysome. Tonight his heartrate is ridiculously low and setting off the monitors but now his O2 is back up nice and high. Go figure.
His doc did her rounds later in the afternoon so she could check in on how he was doing with his feed trial. She came in closed the door, and sat down on the floor with us. I knew it was time for another talk. And sure enough she did.
We talked, this time I didn't cry. I'm numb, or maybe just dry and dehydrated. :) I'm not sure. But there were no tears. I felt like running and screaming though. Bob and I talked a bit after she left. About our feelings. About her conversation on balance and choices that we will face. We don't yet know how we will handle those choices but it has now been brought to our attention that we need to always keep it in our mind and that there will be more talks.
I want to live in stupid bliss. I want to pretend like I will wake up from this and it will all have been just a nightmare, a movie I saw showing someone else's life. But I wake up each day to the beeping of his monitors, the water noises of his bubbler, the swishing of his many pumps, his nebulizer and the RT doing CPT, the nurses drawing labs to reorder his days TPN, and the buzz of the hospital life around us. It's not a dream, it's my life. More to the point it's us watching in awe at our strong tiny man fighting for his health and life...
almost forgot pictures.
|Eli and I waiting for IR|
|Eli this morning after waking up|
|Bob and Eli hanging out this morning|