Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Staying Busy

Brian~He's doing good. Working and trying to get alot done there. He had a phone interview yesterday with a local company, and is waiting to hear back for the next step.
Emily~She loved her first day at her new school. She said everyone was nice, and they have a HUGE playground. So atleast she had fun.
Jace~He liked his first day too, although he wasn't quite as excited as Emily was! He has his recheck with the surgeon at the UofI on the 2nd of October so we are hoping to find out what the next step is.
Benjamin~He's been a bit of a grouch. His allergies are acting up for one. And the rest I'm just not sure. He likes school, and has done great with his change in bus schedule. Just a phase I suppose.
Ariana~She's doing good. She had gymnastics today and had alot of fun. She was able to hold herself on the high bar all the way thru the ABC song today. That was a first for her! She enjoys the class and her favorite part is yelling TA-DA! She has music in motion tomorrow. Her new favorite song is twinkle twinkle little star.
Me~I'm keeping busy. I've been trying to work thru getting the house unpacked and organized. It's been a lot slower of a process this move. I did my first baking today in I don't know how long. We finally have enough counter space again! So that was super nice! In other news...I have no other news. We don't have the results back yet. I've still got about a week left, maybe even 2. I'm trying not to obsess about it to much although it is always on my mind. I've thought a bit thru the decisions and have talked a bit with a good friend about my thinking. Brian still doesn't want to talk about it, so most has been in my head or on the phone with A.
Brian and I are busy and have joined 2 local groups. We are attending Financial Peace University (Dave Ramsey) at a local church here in Marion. We have had 3 classes so far and are loving it. We are learning alot. We have also joined a parenting group thru our local school district. Last night was our first group. Everyone eats dinner together, then we do a family activity with the kids, then the kids head off for playgroup and the family for round robin parenting discussions. I enjoyed it.
Basically we are staying busy. Right now I need to stay busy. Hard to explain, but none the less I just need it.
I promise to get some pictures up soon. We are pushing to get the rest of the unpacking done tonight, then I can take pictures. We are possibly getting our first frost tonight so we would like to be able to park in the garage! We woke up this morning to 43 degrees with a windchill of 39! YUCKY! Right now it's a toasty 61! LOL
More soon...

Monday, September 29, 2008

Moved In...Kinda

well we are moved in..sort of. All of our things are at the new house. The garage is still full and the basement, which is the office, family room, and playroom right now are a complete mess. nothing has been put together or unpacked. We are slowly working our way thru it all. i need to get back over to the apartment tomorrow and get it cleaned up and get the keys turned in. We are loving having so much space. The kids have been running all over the place.
Last night took a nice long soak in the bathtub. I've never had such a large bath tub and it was sooo nice and so relaxing. I really needed that.
Other than that we've just been working and organizing.
My cell phone is broke. I have to go back into the ATT store today to try and get it fixed.
emily and jace started their new schools today. they were nervous but excited! hopefully all goes well.
i'm off to unpack some more!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

So Behind

I'm sorry to have fallen so behind on updates. It's been a hectic week.
I'll start with the update that I've gotten the most calls and emails on.
I heard back late Thursday on my mammogram. We are going to wait for the genetic testing. If it comes back positive the strong reccomendation is a double masectomy. If it comes back negative then will do and MRI or ultrasound. So we have 1 to 2 more weeks of a wait.
Next. We are moving fully today. We've gotten alot of stuff moved over during this last week but today is the big move. We've got a 26 foot truck and are getting ready to get started here in a few. We are excited, but tired..already :)
Emily and Jace finished up their last day at their school yesterday and will start their new school on monday. they are sad to leave, but excited for their new school.
Ben is doing good. He's got some allergies or a cold going on so isn't feeling the greatest at the moment. Nothing with school changes for him so that's a good thing.
Ariana is doing good as well. She's still in gymnastics and music in motion and loving it!
OThe than that....I will blog as soon as we get moved in and get the internet and computers back up and running! like always we will both have our cell phones!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Make a Wish

This Thursday, Sept. 25th Cold Stone Creamery will be hosting the 7th Annual World's Largest Ice Cream Social. From 5-8pm that night they will be offering free 3oz dishes of Make-A-Wish ice cream creations. All donations made that evening will
benefit the Make-A-Wish foundation.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Slow to update

sorry i've been so slow to update my blog.
we've been super busy packing and hauling stuff over to the new house. today i had to run about 700 errands. not quite but you get the idea.
we are getting alot hauled over to the garage. Now we need to start getting things into the house so we can move in the garage again!
i'm excited to get moved in and situated.

call into the doc right now, still waiting on all results. i sooooo hate waiting.
i promise to try and update more soon.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

long day already

this morning was my genetic testing. I called my biological mother while I was there because the genetic counselor had some additional questions. Calling Brenda can be strange unto itself. We rarely speak, sometimes going a year or more without talking. She suprisingly answered and we were able to get even more info from her. WOW. I couldn't believe the amount of info. grandmother-breast cancer both breasts, died of ovarian cancer. sister-breast and cervical/ovarian cancer. grandfather-lung cancer. great grandmother-leukemia. 3 great aunts-all died of ovarian and cervical cancer. my mother herself had a stroke a year ago and they found a lump in each breast. she doesn't have insurance so she never went back for additional testing. WOW.
the counselor and I spoke at great length. she went thru all of the risk factors and data and percentages and such. she gave me all the facts. by the time ovarian cancer is diagnosed it's usually to late. you can get the gene for ovarian and breast cancer from your father as well as your mother. if i pass this gene on to my children not only are my girls at a very high risk for this themselves but my boys for male breast cancer, prostate cancer, and pancreatic cancer. when tested positive for these 2 genes the most realiable remedy is a double masectomy and a hysterectomy. some people try preventative chemo, but with my female problems already, i have to have female surgery no matter what, and that would require me to take meds that would increase my risk of breast cancer. and if my test comes back positive my risk is already 87% so no doctor would give me meds that would increase that risk. she had pages and pages of info and facts and statistics. I'm glad to have all the info but HOLY COW.
she was great and immediately made me feel at ease. she said she would be here each step and always available. she said we'd take it one piece at a time and she would explain everything and tell me where we need to go next. i felt very comfortable with her and her knowledge.
i did go ahead and sign my life away for the testing. dang near more signatures than buying a house. all the forms. my blood is now on it's way to the only lab in the united states that does this testing in Utah. wow. this whole process is mind boggling.
anyways it will take 2 to 3 weeks to get the results. since only 1 lab does this in the whole USA there is no rushing the results.

in other news....
emily is doing good. she's really enjoying school. she's making friends and doing great with her school work. she's excited about moving and finally getting her own room back. She's counting down the days until her 8th birthday! I can't believe it's coming this soon!
jace is doing pretty good. he had a rough time last night. he spent a bit of the night doubled over in the bathroom in pain, uncontrollably shaking, and pouring sweat. his stomach hurt so bad his toes were curling up. called doc and he had me push different areas of jace's stomach and do a few simple tests. ruled out appendicitis and got him comfy and to bed. this morning ok. he checks in with his pedi GI at the UofI the 2nd of oct so we will get more info soon. he's doing good in school and enjoys getting to be with his friends.
ben is doing good. we had his IEP on monday. the teachers said he's doing really well. he's even sat on the potty for them. we got his IEP in place and i think he has a great group of teachers and therapists and i'm super pleased! he's trying to figure things out and sometimes gets pretty frustrated. lately we've been having some strange fears pop up that we are trying to figure out how to deal with on the fly. they suggested we have a behavorial therapist come into the home and help get some ideas on how to set up the environment to make it easier on ben.
ari is doing well. she started music in motion this week and loved it! she's still loving her gymanstics class! She met her new occupational therapist today and got an IFSP in place for her! so excited to get that started.
Brian is ok. lots going on at work that are putting quite a bit of pressure on him. he's not dealing well with, or with everything going on with me right now. We aren't talking much, and things are pretty distant and tense. neither of us are sure where to go from here.
we sign the papers and get the keys for the house this evening. hopefully all goes well with that.
i'm going to go lay down on the couch and watch a bit of tv before everyone gets home and the evening begins.
as always i will update as soon as we know more.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


I'm not quite sure how this blog post will all come together, but I will try.
First I want to say this. I hope this doesn't sound harsh, but I don't know how else to say it.
I don't want to hear 500 stories about aunts cousins neighbors uncle who had a similar experience, and I don't want everyone to feel "sorry". If that all makes sense.

Yesterday was my mammogram. Apparently there was a mass on the left side. The radiologist would read it and my doc would contact me. My genetic testing is tomorrow at 10am. If the mile markers are present then it's 85% chance of developing breast and/or ovarian cancer. With my biological family history and what not...welll anyways.
I am NOT saying that I have cancer. I am NOT saying that I don't. i'm not saying anything more than what I know right now, which isn't much. I don't want everyone freaking out, because right now we just don't know.
I DO know that I'm not very good with patience, and that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to wait to find out. Every single scenario is flying around in my mind and I'm not sure right now what to think and what to feel. I'm scared out of my freaking mind I can tell you that.
I'm feeling a bit selfish I suppose. Right now the only thing on my mind s what's going to happen to me. all of a sudden I don't care much about money, or jobs, or any of that. I just want to know what is going to happen. If it's not cancer then tell me so I can move on, if it is then tell me so I can figure out what the nexts steps are. Not that I want cancer, obviously, but I want to know. the not knowing to me right now is the scariest part.
so there it all is. right now brian is struggling and would rather pretend this isn't happening and that there is no chance of a problem. the kids obviously aren't being told anything. my parents are being realistic and optimistic, if that makes sense. i'm freaking out and a good friend of mine is suggesting lots of ice cream and laughs! i know you read my blog, and i know you know who you are. so i just want to say thank you SOOO much for last night. thank you for letting me freak out on the phone, thank you for telling me it was okay to freak out and be scared, and then thank you for making me laugh! OOH and I'll send you the bill for all the weight loss surgeries after all your ice cream therapy1 :) i do love you! i love all of you who have rallied around us this last 24 hrs with prayers and support!

i will update as we know more, and as i can. please understand that i'm terrified and don't have all the words to describe how i'm feeling right now and that if i don't immediately reply to emails or messages, that it's not because i'm mad!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Super Fast Request

I don't have alot of time right now for details, nor am I sure yet how much I do or don't want to say, but if you are the praying type I would request that you say a quick prayer for me if you think about it.

Saturday, September 13, 2008


We are moving! We made an offer on a house late wednesday evening and it was accepted late friday night!
2 story, full basement (unfinished now, put plumbed and studded and ready)
4 bedrooms now, 2 1/2 baths, formal dining room, 3 1/2 car garage, backyard has a large wooden play area, we will be finishing the basement. we'll put a bedroom, bathroom, rec room, and an office/sewing area. it will also have a storage area, and it has a safe room.
it is still in marion, in the linn mar school district so nothing for the kids will change. it's maybe 2 miles from where we are now. we will be moving either the last weekend of september or the first weekend of october.
anyway here are the pictures. we'll update more soon!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Doc Update

I went today and met my new OB. He was really nice and seemed very knowledgable. He made me feel at ease pretty quickly. I outlined my history for him, and the bit that I know about my family history. He wants me to see a genetic counselor and test for the genes for breast cancer and ovarian cancer. If I have this gene it is an 85% chance that I would at some point be diagnosed with cancer. (for those that don't know my biological sister has had breast cancer more than once, my biological aunt has had breast cancer, and my biological grandmother died of ovarian cancer in April of this year.) I have had abnormal pap's and with my history of PCOS, I'm clearly at a higher risk. So if the test comes back positive then he would reccomend a hysterectomy, if the test comes back negative then he would do an endometrial ablasion. As many of you remember this is the procedure my doc attempted to do before we moved to iowa. the scope ended up puncturing the top of my uterus and going up into my abdomen. he said the procedure has been redone, and he highly reccomends it. So we shall see. He also wants me to have a mammogram which I will be having on Tuesday. If my cancer markers come back clean I would be having the ablasion next friday.
That's all the info in a nutshell! :) I will update more as I know more!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Updates and Vacation Photos

On updates real fast...Emily is enjoying school and doing well. Her spelling test last week she got 18 our of 12 points! She ended up with all 6 extra credit words! She's having a ton of fun learning about butterflies and watching the process! They got to see a butterfly emerge yesterday and she was beyond excited! Jace is struggling a bit. He's been getting in trouble some at school and we are trying to figure out how to work through that. Ben is doing well. He likes school, and i'm so happy for that. We have his IEP mtg next week, so I will have more info then. Ari is doing good. She is now enrolled in a toddler gymnastics class and is loving it. Next week we start a music in motion class as well! At the moment she is cutting all 4 of her molars AND her 4 canine teeth so she's been a bit grouchy.
Bri and I are ok. Trying to figure some things out, and trying to work on communication more. I go to the doc tomorrow so hopefully i'll get some answers there!

I have finally gotten organized and gotten time to put all of the vacation photos onto a slideshow for everyone to see! We had alot of fun and for first time ever didn't actually spend alot of time taking photos. So I don't actually have alot from the trip, but here are some of the good ones! :)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Quick updates

I don't have a ton of energy to type out to long of a post but here are the basics for those asking for additional details. I woke up Thursday morning at 1:30am. My stomach was in incredible pain. By 8am I couldn't even stand up straight. Doc had us come in and did some tests to make sure it wasn't my appendix or gallbladder. They began to wonder if I had an ovarian cyst....Starting 6 weeks ago..I had a 2 week period, then 2 weeks without, then over 2 weeks with a period (doc used meds to try and make it stop), then 1 day without a period at this point. So needless to say they sent me to the hospital for an emergency ultrasound. Came back clear. So they decided that it sounded like I had viral interitis. By Friday morning I was a bit better on the pain front, but still really sore and tired. Today again still a bit sore but again better. This afternoon stomach starting cramping and period has again started. So this time I only got to go 2 days without. So no idea what happens next but this is ridiculous. I'm tired, constant headaches, alot of bleeding, my hair is falling out, etc...So yeah back to the doc again on Monday. I will update more as I know.
I'm going to curl up on the couch and watch TV then head to bed.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Puke is part of daily conversation

Brian and Jace ran to the grocery store. Here is the conversation on their way home.
setting...in car...vehicle behind them peeled out and made a noise.
Jace "what's that?"
Brian "some guy behind us peeled out"
Jace "what's that mean?"
Brian "its when you move too fast in your car and the wheels spin so it makes noise."
Jace "if you spin too fast you could puke."
Brian laughs.
Jace "if you didn't have a head you couldn't even talk. i'm not lying i'm serious. you'd look like a ghost."

Gotta love private reflection times with Jace! Just goes to show though how puke is such a normal part of our lives, Jace finds a way to spin it into every conversation! Poor guy! he's so cute though!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Blog Title

"Viscissitudo ad Infinitum"
Means "Constant vicissitude" vicissitude is a state of flux or transition.
My dear husband said that this should be my new blog title. So that it is. But I'm getting emails asking what it means! :) So there is the translation!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Home from Vacation

We are home from vacation, we got home late night sunday. I just haven't had a chance to sit down and blog yet!
It was all in all a good vacation.
Friday~We got into St Louis at bedtime, so we didn't do anything.
Saturday~We woke up and started breakfast and Jace ended up on the toilet severly constipated crying, and fidgety. We tried a warm bath and tons of other things. Finally after an hour Brian was calling the U of I doc and Jace was finally able to go to the bathroom. So we got a bit of a late start. We went to the zoo, and to a dino exhibit. The penguin exhibit was the best ever and the kids absolutely loved it. We went to Hard Rock Cafe for lunch at Union Station. we spent the evening at the largest mall in St Louis, Mills. The kids had alot of fun there!
Sunday~We woke up and this time had a horrible constipated Ben. We were able to fix it much easier than usual but knew it would become an issue again at some point that day. We spent the morning at the arch and the riverfront. We went to the top and spent quite a bit of time looking out the windows. Ari loved yelling car everytime she saw a vehicle! Emily and Jace thought it was super cool! We met up with some VERY good friends of mine at the Butterfly House. The house was amazing and it was so much fun to have all the butterflies flying free like that. Emily loved it! Halfway thru the butterfly house Ben started shaking. He and I went out to the van and he was finally able to finish what he had started earlier in the day. He was shaking and just pouring sweat. After that he was exhausted, so we rode an antique original carousel and then headed home. We drove home late sunday and got here well after bedtime.

Now we are home and everyone is back in school. Ari started a toddler gymnastics class today, and loved it! It will be good for her to be around other kids her age and to work some on her flexibility and such.
I've been working on my quilt some more. I just finished piecing it together. Next comes the 2 borders and then begins the fun. Quilting it all! It's a king sized quilt, in the Yellow Brick Road pattern. Bri and I picked out the materials and I love it!
Here are a few pictures of the quilt. i will get pictures up in the next few days from our trip!