it's been a weekend of growth. Jace and Ari both have outgrown their clothes and we had to buy Ari some new clothes and I will start looking for some new jeans for Jace this next week. i also needed some new clothes this weekend! I was able to go to Old Navy and buy a shirt, sweater, and a jacket all in the regular dept, size XL. The shirt i could have gone in a large but across the still milk filled boobs i needed the bigger size! I'm so excited by this! It's been awhile since i've been able to shop anywhere for clothes!
Bri just left. It wasn't the sad tearful depressed goodbye this time. This weekend really helped all of us with the transition. we had a great time hanging out and spending time together. I will be in Wichita on the 11th, so not far away at all. I'm hoping that this next week and a half go fast!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Quick Check In
Brian got in at 1:30am saturday morning. It was so nice to see him even though it was the middle of the night and I was 98% asleep! :) Saturday morning when Ari woke up Brian went in to get her. I heard Emily all excited that daddy was here. So then he comes in with Ari and Jace comes running after. Benjamin on the other hand was unsure and it took him a few minutes to investigate and figure out what was going on. We had a homemade pancake and egg breakfast. It was nice! Then we decided to go to the IC co-op. Afterwards we wandered over to the CR mall and had a great time. It's a HUGE mall with tons of shops, restaurants, and play areas. We came home for nap, and Brian and I relaxed and watched TV while the kids slept. Last night we ate dinner out and ran a few errands. This morning I'm making homemade quiche and scones w/ cream for breakfast. Afterwards we are hoping to catch a walk on one of the local trails! Bri goes home this afternoon. I'm a bit sad, but very happy to have had this weekend, no matter how short. This wasn't a planned trip, so it's an extra bonus! The kids have enjoyed getting to see Brian! The kids and I will be in Wichita in 11 or 12 days so that isn't to long!
Anyways I'm the only one up so I had better get to cooking before everyone else gets up!
Hugs and love to all!
Anyways I'm the only one up so I had better get to cooking before everyone else gets up!
Hugs and love to all!
Friday, September 28, 2007
brian is coming for a visit
brian decided at around 2pm today to come to CR for the weekend. He will be here at like 1:30am. So the kids won't see him until morning! They don't know he's coming as he wants to suprise them! i'm beyond excited! i knew i'd miss him but never thought i'd miss him this much. and for most of you who know me you know i'm not a super moochy lovey kind of person! :) anyways i'm keeping busy by getting some housework done and stuff. i'd planned on doing housework tomorrow but with brian being here i don't want to use up time for cleaning. so i'm trying to get it all done tonight! YEAH! i'm excited!
longest night of my life
emily was up every 20-30 minutes sick, until around 2am. Then Jace woke up saying his tummy hurt. He spent almost 2 hrs in the bathroom, but never got sick. Around 4am he pooped. then he cried in bed. I put him on the floor of my room and he slept. Ariana woke up around 6am. So I slept maybe 2 hrs broken up. I'm exhausted. Emily says her tummy feels ok, and her head just hurts a bit. I'm guessing at this point it's from lack of sleep and a slight bit of dehydration. Jace says he feels fine. I'm just tired and have a slight headache, lack of sleep i'm guessing. i'm keep everyone home from school today, and we are going to try and have a quiet rest day. I'm praying that nobody else gets sick, especially me. That's all I need is to get sick and have to still run the house and take care of all 4 kids by myself.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Sick child and Candy Land
I got Emily and Jace to school this morning and then Ben, Ari, and I headed to a playdate. When we found out we were moving to CR I started up a meetup group. Today was our first official meetup. We had a great turn out of 7 moms! We had alot of fun! I got called at 11am saying that Emily was in the office complaining of a headache and had a low grade fever. I picked Jace up and got her. She had a horrible headache. Got her home and gave her motrin and put her to bed. She woke up hungry and saying she felt fine. She ate a sandwich and some yogurt. We decided to run to the store and look for some baskets. She got sick at the store. We immediately came home and she's gotten sick 4 more times. I'm thinking it's allergies and drainage, with a sinus headache. Jace is TV grounded so he and I played candy land. I kicked some candy land butt man! It took for darned ever but i won the first game. Then emily joined for the 2nd game. Jace got bored halfway through and Ben took over. After quite some time Mr Ben won! I forgot how long that game can go! :) We played at the coffee table in the living room and Ari happily played on the floor next to us. It was nice. Emily is now laying on the loveseat, Jace is watching TV, Ari is scooting aound the floor playing, and Ben is throwing a fit for a yellow. Gotta love life. I'm seeing any early bedtime in everyone's future!
Tomorrow with Emily being sick I think we'll stay close to home and relax. I could really stand to get some housework done. Yucky!
Tomorrow with Emily being sick I think we'll stay close to home and relax. I could really stand to get some housework done. Yucky!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Exhausted
i'm beyond exhausted so this will be short. emily had school today, and did well. she had homework this evening and got it done pretty easily. her teacher sent home notices about sight words and she said emily already knows the 1st grade ones so sent her the 2nd grade ones. so i'm guessing that's a good thing. jace and benjamin also had school today. they had fun, and both made projects. once everyone was home it was a disaster. Ben snuck out of room NAKED during nap i have no idea how many times, jace and ben spent alot of time fighting, emily and jace were arguing back and forth. ben is getting into name calling. ariana was fussy. i was tired. it simply wasn't a good mixture. bedtime came a few minutes earlier than usual. now i just have to go carry jace to his bed so i can crawl into mine.
i'm struggling a bit dealing with the seperation from brian. little things are bugging me, and i'm sure the same for him. it's hard to understand what is going on with the other, being this far apart. it's strange only getting to talk to him on the phone.
the kids and i bought photo frames tonight and i sent pictures to walmart.com for printing. they are all random pictures of family and friends. i'm going to frame all of them and put them all over the house. i'm hoping that helps everyone.
the kids aren't actually voicing the fact that they are missing people, but their attitudes have been horrible, so i'm guessing they are.
anyways tomorrow we have a playdate! it's at a local park with some local moms! I'm excited, and hoping that the weather will be warmer for it! :)
i'm struggling a bit dealing with the seperation from brian. little things are bugging me, and i'm sure the same for him. it's hard to understand what is going on with the other, being this far apart. it's strange only getting to talk to him on the phone.
the kids and i bought photo frames tonight and i sent pictures to walmart.com for printing. they are all random pictures of family and friends. i'm going to frame all of them and put them all over the house. i'm hoping that helps everyone.
the kids aren't actually voicing the fact that they are missing people, but their attitudes have been horrible, so i'm guessing they are.
anyways tomorrow we have a playdate! it's at a local park with some local moms! I'm excited, and hoping that the weather will be warmer for it! :)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
LOOOOONG day
it's been an incredibly long day. first of all i'm simply getting lost everywhere i go, and that is making me late everywhere i go. i absolutely hate being late. i'm not a late person, and it's been hard for me to be late. i'm trying but i keep getting lost and i'm having trouble estimating how long it will take me to get from one location to the next.
jace had school again today and had another good day. when we got there and he walked in the room one kid yelled hello jace and that made jace so happy that the kid remembered him and his name. emily had her first day of school today. we went i with her to meet her teacher and find her classroom. she has a locker and she really liked that. her teacher sent me an email during the afternoon letting me know that emily was having a great day and a basic update on what emily was doing. i thought it was great that the teacher emailed me an update like that. i was super impressed. when i picked emily up she was very excited about her day and really liked her new school. so that's good.
benjamin, ariana, and i went walking at the mall again this morning with some local moms, and then afterwards we met a larger group of moms at the mall's playarea for a playgroup. it was alot of fun and nice to get out with other moms!
the phone guy was here for 2 hrs and he still can't get the phone to work. he is going to have to come back tomorrow and is expecting to be here all afternoon. so i have one phone in the back of the house main level sunroom. so yeah i have to be close to hear it ring.
the kids are driving me absolutely insane. they are beyond hyper, and not listening to me at all. there has been lots of fighting and yelling, and complete disobedience. i'm praying to god that things level out soon and that we can get on a good schedule.
today's been a bit depressing. it's rained most of the day and is pretty cold outside. it's supposed to get super cold tonight and then rain all day tomorrow as well. it makes for a dreary time.
tonight we are going to walmart to get some school shopping done. all the kids need school supplies and we need a few basic house things.
again missing everyone, especially bri!
jace had school again today and had another good day. when we got there and he walked in the room one kid yelled hello jace and that made jace so happy that the kid remembered him and his name. emily had her first day of school today. we went i with her to meet her teacher and find her classroom. she has a locker and she really liked that. her teacher sent me an email during the afternoon letting me know that emily was having a great day and a basic update on what emily was doing. i thought it was great that the teacher emailed me an update like that. i was super impressed. when i picked emily up she was very excited about her day and really liked her new school. so that's good.
benjamin, ariana, and i went walking at the mall again this morning with some local moms, and then afterwards we met a larger group of moms at the mall's playarea for a playgroup. it was alot of fun and nice to get out with other moms!
the phone guy was here for 2 hrs and he still can't get the phone to work. he is going to have to come back tomorrow and is expecting to be here all afternoon. so i have one phone in the back of the house main level sunroom. so yeah i have to be close to hear it ring.
the kids are driving me absolutely insane. they are beyond hyper, and not listening to me at all. there has been lots of fighting and yelling, and complete disobedience. i'm praying to god that things level out soon and that we can get on a good schedule.
today's been a bit depressing. it's rained most of the day and is pretty cold outside. it's supposed to get super cold tonight and then rain all day tomorrow as well. it makes for a dreary time.
tonight we are going to walmart to get some school shopping done. all the kids need school supplies and we need a few basic house things.
again missing everyone, especially bri!
Monday, September 24, 2007
boys start school
the boys started school today. They did well. Jace said that he likes his teachers and that he made some new friends. Ben's teachers said he did well, just didn't talk much. I know that will take him some time. I met 2 moms today. We met at the mall this morning and went walking and then sat at the play area and chatted. It was nice to meet some people and get out! We are going to meet to walk again tomorrow.
I didn't sleep so well last night. I fell asleep ok, but woke up at 3am and laid awake for hours. The bed is huge, and not having Brian there was really strange. I hope it gets easier, as it's only noon and I'm tired. I am going to need to get more sleep than this each night.
Our phone is still screwed up. We still can't receive phone calls, and can only make 5 minute phone calls before the phone disconnects. I'm AGAIN on hold with them trying to get it fixed. I spent over 3hrs on the phone with them yesterday and got nowhere. I'm not thrilled!
I didn't sleep so well last night. I fell asleep ok, but woke up at 3am and laid awake for hours. The bed is huge, and not having Brian there was really strange. I hope it gets easier, as it's only noon and I'm tired. I am going to need to get more sleep than this each night.
Our phone is still screwed up. We still can't receive phone calls, and can only make 5 minute phone calls before the phone disconnects. I'm AGAIN on hold with them trying to get it fixed. I spent over 3hrs on the phone with them yesterday and got nowhere. I'm not thrilled!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Brian just left
Brian just left to go home. Originally he was going to leave this morning. The he was going to leave at 1pm. Then 2. He ended up leaving at 3:15pm. The older 2 kids cried, the younger 2 don't understand. Brian and I cried. I've never seen Bri cry like that. I walked in the house and just stood there crying. I can't believe he's gone. I can't believe I'm here by myself. These last few days have felt normal, our family back together, just the 6 of us. Then all of a sudden it's Sunday and Bri's gone. I'm just overwhelmed, and nervous, and scared, and already feeling alone. well you get the idea, it's just making me cry all over again.
to everyone i still haven't called. i'm so sorry. i'm not ignoring you, i've just been spending the last few days with Bri and now i'm just blah and don't know if i feel like talking on the phone right now. i promise i'll call soon!
missing everyone, especially my husband.
to everyone i still haven't called. i'm so sorry. i'm not ignoring you, i've just been spending the last few days with Bri and now i'm just blah and don't know if i feel like talking on the phone right now. i promise i'll call soon!
missing everyone, especially my husband.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
First Post....
in Iowa. We are here. We got in around 8pm thursday night. It was a LONG trip. Benjamin threw tons of fits because he was bored, and Emily started asking if we were there yet about 30 minutes into the 10 something hour trip. We pulled over on the highway 4 times to deal with the children, and made 5 full stops at stop points along the way. It was long and tiring and not what I would call fun. We got in and went to the grocery store before coming home. We also found out that Brian's direct deposit got all screwed up so as of right now we still haven't gotten his paycheck which clearly makes money pretty tight.
We got all the school stuff done yesterday. Jace will start school Monday and he will go 5 mornings a week. Benjamin will also start school Monday (same school as Jace) and he will go on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Emily will start school on Tuesday. So the kids are excited.
They are loving it here! They've been very busy outside in the big fenced yard and have spent alot of time playing. We have 3 apple trees and they've been climbing. I'm assuming there will be an injury at some point! :) Ben is doing well. He's calmed down alot and we've only heard that he's scared twice so far. He's still not eating well but I'm hoping that will situate soon.
Today the cable/phone/and internet guy is here! YEAH!!!!!!! Then we are going to go out and explore for a bit and let the kids see some more of the city.
Brian leaves tomorrow. Time is going fast. I'm not sure what I think about him leaving. I'm still a bit nervous about being here by myself. We shall see.
Anyways sorry for not getting everyone called yet. things have been so hectic around here! I promise as soon as we get situated I'll call!
Hugs and missing all of you so much!
We got all the school stuff done yesterday. Jace will start school Monday and he will go 5 mornings a week. Benjamin will also start school Monday (same school as Jace) and he will go on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Emily will start school on Tuesday. So the kids are excited.
They are loving it here! They've been very busy outside in the big fenced yard and have spent alot of time playing. We have 3 apple trees and they've been climbing. I'm assuming there will be an injury at some point! :) Ben is doing well. He's calmed down alot and we've only heard that he's scared twice so far. He's still not eating well but I'm hoping that will situate soon.
Today the cable/phone/and internet guy is here! YEAH!!!!!!! Then we are going to go out and explore for a bit and let the kids see some more of the city.
Brian leaves tomorrow. Time is going fast. I'm not sure what I think about him leaving. I'm still a bit nervous about being here by myself. We shall see.
Anyways sorry for not getting everyone called yet. things have been so hectic around here! I promise as soon as we get situated I'll call!
Hugs and missing all of you so much!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Last Blog.....
This is my last blog while living in Wichita. WOW. We aren't quite on schedule anymore and will be leaving later than 7am. The one day we wanted to be moving early the kids are still asleep among other things! I will not have internet for a few days! If you need me call my cell phone! If you need my cell phone number you can email me at ejbamommy@cox.net and the email will come to my cell phone! I will miss all of you more than you will ever know!
E~I know you are reading this. I had fun last night getting to chat for a bit! I will miss you soooo much! I will definately be seeing you in 3 weeks though! HUGS and belly rubs to thumper!!!
E~I know you are reading this. I had fun last night getting to chat for a bit! I will miss you soooo much! I will definately be seeing you in 3 weeks though! HUGS and belly rubs to thumper!!!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Another Day Gone By
Time is going so fast. Last night my parents took Emily out. Today my mom took Ben out. Tonight my parents took Jace out. I've been packing all day. Tomorrow is Jace's goodbye party at school. We load the van tomorrow and leave Thursday morning. It's just WOW. I can't keep up with how fast time is going right now. I have no clue what I think or feel about any of it right now. I'm excited and nervous. I've been chatting with some moms in Iowa and am super excited to meet them and start getting together. I'm sad though to be leaving my friends here. I just don't know what to expect and time is almost gone. Tomorrow will be spent at Jace's party, and then the afternoon packing and loading the car.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Whirlwind Weekend
Friday evening Brian and I spent the evening at the park with the kids. We all had alot of fun going out just the 6 of us!
Saturday morning we went and did all the normal shopping, but for the last time. Saturday afternoon we went over to a friends house and met another friend there as well. The kids played outside and the 3 of us talked. We took pictures and had a great time. It ended to soon though. Saturday evening was our last big dinner at my parents house! Dad cooked up an almost thanksgiving dinner!
Sunday morning we went to Jimmie's for breakfast and got pictures of all the waitresses and the kids. It was a great time! Then Brian and I took the kids to the zoo. It was again really nice spending time with the 6 of us. We took the train ride, something we don't do often. The kids loved it! Sunday afternoon we went to Brian's mom's house and played and visited, took pictures, and said goodbye. Sunday evening we went to Brian's dad and stepmom's house for a BBQ dinner. The kids had a great time playing outside and visiting.
Today the kids have school, and I'm getting together for breakfast with my best friend.
It's just a whirlwind of last visits. I'm almost a bit numb to it all right now. I've been taking pictures of everyone and am hoping that will help! It's just alot to take in right now!
I can't believe that we only have 3 days left here. It'll go by so fast, especially for the kids!
Saturday morning we went and did all the normal shopping, but for the last time. Saturday afternoon we went over to a friends house and met another friend there as well. The kids played outside and the 3 of us talked. We took pictures and had a great time. It ended to soon though. Saturday evening was our last big dinner at my parents house! Dad cooked up an almost thanksgiving dinner!
Sunday morning we went to Jimmie's for breakfast and got pictures of all the waitresses and the kids. It was a great time! Then Brian and I took the kids to the zoo. It was again really nice spending time with the 6 of us. We took the train ride, something we don't do often. The kids loved it! Sunday afternoon we went to Brian's mom's house and played and visited, took pictures, and said goodbye. Sunday evening we went to Brian's dad and stepmom's house for a BBQ dinner. The kids had a great time playing outside and visiting.
Today the kids have school, and I'm getting together for breakfast with my best friend.
It's just a whirlwind of last visits. I'm almost a bit numb to it all right now. I've been taking pictures of everyone and am hoping that will help! It's just alot to take in right now!
I can't believe that we only have 3 days left here. It'll go by so fast, especially for the kids!
Friday, September 14, 2007
Ben and his eating
poor ben has had a rough day. The kids had KDO today. When I got there to pick up Ben they said he'd been laying in the playhouse grunting for almost an hour and they thought he was constipated. They said they had checked many times and he hadn't pooped. When he saw me he got up and walked strangly to me and said mommy poop. so i laid him down to change him. I took off his diaper and was horrified at what i saw. TMI WARNING. TMI WARNING. There was a large hard ball of poop about 1 1/2 to 2 times the size of his fist stuck about 1/3 of the way out. At this point he's crying and wimpering. his teacher sat at his head and talked to him while i attempted to figure out what to do. I tried to use a wipe, stuck. i tried shifting his body, stuck. finally another teacher suggested using a finger wrapped in wipe. I resituated his legs and it came out and 2 more large hard balls came out. He was so in pain and upset that he was just dripping sweat. I have no idea how long he had been like that before I got there. i felt so horrible for him, that must have been terrifying and clearly very uncomfy. I have got to get him eating, no matter what it takes. I saw on a mommy board I'm on about a snack grazing tray. I wrote down over 50 of their ideas and am going to go shopping. they reccomend making the tray up after breakfast and leaving it out all day. maybe this will help him eat more. it's atleast worth a try. Poor Ben can't keep going like this. i just feel horrible for the little guy.
The mind of a 4yr old
Jace and I were snuggling together yesterday chatting about the move to Iowa. He told me that he will miss his teachers and his friends and said he wants to visit them. I said that we definately could do that. I reminded him that he would meet more teachers and would find more friends as well in Iowa. He looked at me with his big blue eyes and asked me what happens if he can't find anyone there that will fit with him and that he likes. I felt so bad for him. He is a very family oriented kind of child. He is shy until he gets to know someone, and then he begins to open up. It takes time and consistency with Jace to make it to his "inner circle". I know deep down that he'll meet people and make new friends and that he will be happy, but it just broke my heart that he is thinking and worrying about those things.
I also think it maybe got to me as much as it did because I have the same fears. As a SAHM I think it has actually been harder to make friends. I have developed some great friendships here, and am crushed to have to leave these friends. I know that it doesn't mean our friendships end, but we can't just get together whenever we want. I'm nervous about meeting people and making an entire new social network again. I'm nervous about finding people with my same lifestyle and interests. I feel all the same things that my 4 yr old feels.
I know we'll all be ok. I'm excited about the new adventures, but a bit nervous to do this alone.
I also think it maybe got to me as much as it did because I have the same fears. As a SAHM I think it has actually been harder to make friends. I have developed some great friendships here, and am crushed to have to leave these friends. I know that it doesn't mean our friendships end, but we can't just get together whenever we want. I'm nervous about meeting people and making an entire new social network again. I'm nervous about finding people with my same lifestyle and interests. I feel all the same things that my 4 yr old feels.
I know we'll all be ok. I'm excited about the new adventures, but a bit nervous to do this alone.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
moving
we are moving. Like soon. We will leave 1 week from today. That is Thursday the 20th. Brian will come with us for the weekend to help us get there and situated. The kids will start school the next week. Talk about a fast change of plans. i honestly have no idea what i think or feel right now, but I feel as though I need to do what is best for the kids, us, and our finances in general. So wish me luck. There is alot to get done this next week! OOOH and we will be back in October for a week so we'll only be gone 3 wks before we are back again! :)
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
never ending
jace got injured. we had just put the kids to bed and were all in the kitchen. then you hear blood curtling screams from Jace. We all go rushing in there. He has a bookcase headboard and had went to lay his head down and instead hit the rim of the bookcase, HARD. which means the boys were probably playing. He has a cut halfway across his forward and a monstrous knot and already tons of bruising. We immediately got him to the bathroom because normally injuries and crying lead to throwing up for him and his tummy. The good news is no throwing up this time. The bad news is he looks horrible and he has quite the headache. He is now on grandma and grandpas bed with ice and grandma is reading dino T-rex books to him. The poor guy. that scream haunts me. i know that scream all to well and everytime i hear it my heart stops.
pluck nucking insurance
Excuse the language but holy cow. I hate my insurance company sometimes. They have denied my surgery. They don't think we've tried everything. Flipping asses. My family doctor AND my OB say we've tried everything and that the surgery is totally justifiable. But the insurance claims to have a doctor who says we haven't tried everything. I don't get why they have me have a Primary care and see specialists and all that just to turn around and tell these doctors, who mind you I've bee seeing for YEARS now, that they are wrong. ugggh sometimes i hate insurance companies. So now the surgery is off. Another thing not holding me here to Wichita any longer.
lots of decisions
we are contemplating the kids and I moving to Iowa sooner than later. Possibly even this next check. i think that Benjamin needs the stability and only 1 consistent adult working with him right now. As the saying goes "there are to many cooks in the kitchen" and I think that is making it even harder for Ben to deal with. We are talking and seeing what we can work out. I will update as soon as I know more.
Jace and Emily are both doing well with school. Emily is struggling a bit with math. It isn't her favorite subject and she doesn't put quite as much time and effort into it as she does her other activities. We are working on it in the evenings and she is greatly improving. Jace is learning about the letter i this week and we've been practicing how to write it and how to write his name. He gets so excited that he has homework! Ariana is doing well. She'll be 7 months old tomorrow! how time flies! She is scooting all over the place, and is getting up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. It won't be to long before she is fully crawling. She still can't sit well and doesn't have any interest in trying. Her priority is moving!
Brian is busy. He left yesterday at 5:30am and got home at 8pm. It's making for long hard days for him.
That's about all I suppose. As I find out more I'll update here!
Jace and Emily are both doing well with school. Emily is struggling a bit with math. It isn't her favorite subject and she doesn't put quite as much time and effort into it as she does her other activities. We are working on it in the evenings and she is greatly improving. Jace is learning about the letter i this week and we've been practicing how to write it and how to write his name. He gets so excited that he has homework! Ariana is doing well. She'll be 7 months old tomorrow! how time flies! She is scooting all over the place, and is getting up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. It won't be to long before she is fully crawling. She still can't sit well and doesn't have any interest in trying. Her priority is moving!
Brian is busy. He left yesterday at 5:30am and got home at 8pm. It's making for long hard days for him.
That's about all I suppose. As I find out more I'll update here!
Monday, September 10, 2007
Benjamin & Mommy Intuition
As most of you know Ben has had a rough time of it over the years. He spent a big chunk of his life in speech and physical therapy. When he graduated therapy he was still a bit behind but doing great and improving well. Then he started struggling a bit. I said that there was a problem, but everyone else was sure I was just being over protective and that he was fine. It kept getting worse. He has episodes where he just totally freaks out and cries and screams to the point he literally raises his body temperature and is pouring sweat. He gets scared all the time, of what we have no idea. He loves to be alone in quite and playing with one thing over and over. We took him back to the doctor and they scheduled him to go back to his original therapy place. Well they are still booked up so far that we are on the waiting list for a call to schedule an appt. We've been on this waiting list for over 5 months now. Then a few weeks ago Ben pretty much quit eating. He's never been a good eater and would sometimes go a few days without eating much, but the past few weeks it been much worse. He can go a whole week with hardly eating a meal. Again everyone kept telling me when he's hungry he'll eat. FINALLY this weekend I insisted that this isn't right, and that it isn't fair to be putting Ben through whatever he is struggling with. I insisted that he was going to the doctor and said I wanted Brian to come. Well the doc got him right in this morning. He completely agreed that there is a serious problem that needs dealt with. He is sending us to another place for a full evaluation and lab work. In the mean time he wants me to feed Ben whatever he will eat and give him atleast 2 pediasure shakes a day if at all possible. So Ben goes for his new evaluation on the 10th of October. I feel like such a horrible mother for not following my mommy intuition and for not pushing for an immediate answer. I feel as though I've let Ben down. He depends on me to keep him safe and protected, and I shouldn't have let everyone else tell me that he was ok, I should have pushed. I hope that they can quickly find out what is going on and that we can find out a solution or plan to help Ben cope better with whatever is scaring him and bothering him. Poor little Benjamin!
I also feel horrible because when he gets into one of his episodes no matter how sympathetic I try to be after 2 hrs of listening to him scream my patience is long gone and I just want to scream right along with him. I try everything I can think of to help him feel safe, or to simply distract him or whatnot but normally nothing works.
I also feel horrible because when he gets into one of his episodes no matter how sympathetic I try to be after 2 hrs of listening to him scream my patience is long gone and I just want to scream right along with him. I try everything I can think of to help him feel safe, or to simply distract him or whatnot but normally nothing works.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Move Date Set
We have set our move date. We were trying to decide if the kids and I should move before or after court. We were given the go ahead to move before hand, but have decided that we will use this time to finish up everything here. We will move October 18th! I'm excited!
I went out last night with a friend for dinner and shopping. It was really nice to go out and talk and shop without kids! I really needed that!
Today the older 2 kids went with mom and dad to church. We are here with the younger two. Ben got bit by a mosquito on his eye and it was totally swelled shut. The doc had us give him a large dose of benadryl so we wanted to let him rest today. Brian' van is at the shop for an oil change, and then Brian is going to attempt to recharge the air conditioner. Let's hope it works!
I bought Jace his new big boy carseat yesterday. He got a Regent. I think my car looks gorgeous with 4 Britax carseats in it! I love it! Brian thinks I'm nuts! :) Jace loves his new seat and is very excited to get to ride in it!
I went out last night with a friend for dinner and shopping. It was really nice to go out and talk and shop without kids! I really needed that!
Today the older 2 kids went with mom and dad to church. We are here with the younger two. Ben got bit by a mosquito on his eye and it was totally swelled shut. The doc had us give him a large dose of benadryl so we wanted to let him rest today. Brian' van is at the shop for an oil change, and then Brian is going to attempt to recharge the air conditioner. Let's hope it works!
I bought Jace his new big boy carseat yesterday. He got a Regent. I think my car looks gorgeous with 4 Britax carseats in it! I love it! Brian thinks I'm nuts! :) Jace loves his new seat and is very excited to get to ride in it!
Saturday, September 8, 2007
We bought a van!!!
We bought a 2005 Dodge Grand Caravan!!! YEAH!!! It's in great condition with really low miles! We also got it with no money down and a lower payment than expected which is clearly always nice too! Now to go buy Jace his new big boy carseat today! We will be almost ready to make the move!!!
Brian is working 10hrs of OT today. It sucks. What is frustrating is the last bit of time the kids and I have here with him he's either at work or school. Not so fun.
I'm excited about the move. I'm ready to get moved now. Heck I think I'd move this weekend if I could. But then there is that part of me that doesn't want to move yet, and is a bit scared about the whole process. I think once I'm there it will all settle down and fall into place. I'm going to be calling the schools on Monday and that will decide when we move. I'm excited!
Brian is working 10hrs of OT today. It sucks. What is frustrating is the last bit of time the kids and I have here with him he's either at work or school. Not so fun.
I'm excited about the move. I'm ready to get moved now. Heck I think I'd move this weekend if I could. But then there is that part of me that doesn't want to move yet, and is a bit scared about the whole process. I think once I'm there it will all settle down and fall into place. I'm going to be calling the schools on Monday and that will decide when we move. I'm excited!
Friday, September 7, 2007
Decisions
We found a van that we like. We were there for hours last night. We will find out today if they will be able to get the financing and the terms that we want. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
Also the kids and I have a green light to go ahead and move. So now I will begin doing the school stuff, and all the little details that will need to be done for us to go ahead and move now. I'm excited, but nervous at the same time. I think Brian isn't super happy about the kids and I moving, but he does see the advantages as well. We will do our best to see each other as often as possible, even meeting halfway in KC.
Jace starts PreK today. He is so excited! I'm excited also! He's been so bored here at home all day every day. He's really been missing the interactions with other kids and stuff! I think Ben will be excited to have some non Jace time again! Jace can be a bit overwhelming for Ben's personality!
Also the kids and I have a green light to go ahead and move. So now I will begin doing the school stuff, and all the little details that will need to be done for us to go ahead and move now. I'm excited, but nervous at the same time. I think Brian isn't super happy about the kids and I moving, but he does see the advantages as well. We will do our best to see each other as often as possible, even meeting halfway in KC.
Jace starts PreK today. He is so excited! I'm excited also! He's been so bored here at home all day every day. He's really been missing the interactions with other kids and stuff! I think Ben will be excited to have some non Jace time again! Jace can be a bit overwhelming for Ben's personality!
Thursday, September 6, 2007
car shopping sucks
i hate car shopping. i really do. as most of you know Bri's car blew the engine and we are down to 1 vehicle. right now it's mostly working out. My mom borrowed a car from a friend so we have 4 vehicles total, but the borrowed car is bad...So it's not a great solution. so we are car shopping. they refuse to pretty much answer any questions over the phone. i don't have hours and hours to sit around and hang out and chit chat. i want the info and then i want to decide if it's worth going in and looking. but they have other things in mind. so we are going to have to drag ourselves out there tonight. I'm so not pleased by that.
we have a couple coming back to look at our house next week. they are really interested, so we are hoping they will make an offer!
Still no decision yet on the kids and I moving to Iowa now. I'm hoping to get an answer on that tonight. I'm so hoping that we can work it out for us to go. I'm a bit nervous about the thought of being in an unfamiliar city/state by myself with all 4 of my hooligans, but the thought is also a bit exciting. I know that I can do it and that it would all work out, it would just be a bit of work. Not that it isn't work now! :)
i'm contemplating a nap. seriously contemplating a nap! :)
we have a couple coming back to look at our house next week. they are really interested, so we are hoping they will make an offer!
Still no decision yet on the kids and I moving to Iowa now. I'm hoping to get an answer on that tonight. I'm so hoping that we can work it out for us to go. I'm a bit nervous about the thought of being in an unfamiliar city/state by myself with all 4 of my hooligans, but the thought is also a bit exciting. I know that I can do it and that it would all work out, it would just be a bit of work. Not that it isn't work now! :)
i'm contemplating a nap. seriously contemplating a nap! :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
wearing thin
emotions are wearing thin around here. everyone is tired. everything going on in our lives right now are emotionally, mentally and physically draining. Stupid arguements are occuring, short fuses, low thresholds of patience. everyone always claims that these kinds of life events makes you stronger but so far i just feel absolutely exhausted. I'm trying to keep up and keep smiling, but it's not been so easy lately.
Yesterday we had court. He did in fact show up. We will have a trial on September 15th. That is all I can say about it at the moment. It's just one more draining thing on my list. If you want/need more info on this topic please email me privately! :)
We lowered the price on our house yesterday. We still haven't had a single offer. We supposedly have 2 families interested but I'm not holding my breath. We've gotta get this stupid house sold, and fast. I need to be done with it.
I'm supposed to be having a partial hysterectomy on September 21st. The doc doesn't want to retry the novasure after the complications with the first one. I've been researching a bit and am a bit concerned about having a partial. there are apparently some side effects and some things that can go wrong that worry me a bit. So i'm going to have to call my doc and ask some more questions. i have no idea what to do.
my milk still seems to be low. i took fenugreek and it gives me a horrible headache. i have no idea why. so i've stopped taking it but my milk is still low. when we had to take Ari to the ER she weighed 13lbs 8oz. that means she's only gained like 5oz in the last 4 months. that's clearly an issue. i would like to take her to the doc and see what he says but i'm afraid his only suggestion will be to just give her formula and that's not the answer i'm looking for. i'm going to have to attempt to do some research on the subject and see what my other options are.
It looks like the kids and i may be moving to Iowa sooner than later. We are trying to work some things out and find out if the kids and i can go ahead and move there now instead of waiting until december. it would relieve some of my stress not having to be at my parents house anymore, but it would add some stress not having brian or anyone around to help out with the kids. i'd be completely on my own. we will know by this weekend what we are going to do with all of that.
ariana and ben are sleeping in this morning. it's kind of nice. emily is at school, jace is here playing cards on my bed, and i'm sitting her randomly blogging things that pop into my head. today is laundry day, and i'm not so excited about that. i hate laundry. my least favorite chore.
Yesterday we had court. He did in fact show up. We will have a trial on September 15th. That is all I can say about it at the moment. It's just one more draining thing on my list. If you want/need more info on this topic please email me privately! :)
We lowered the price on our house yesterday. We still haven't had a single offer. We supposedly have 2 families interested but I'm not holding my breath. We've gotta get this stupid house sold, and fast. I need to be done with it.
I'm supposed to be having a partial hysterectomy on September 21st. The doc doesn't want to retry the novasure after the complications with the first one. I've been researching a bit and am a bit concerned about having a partial. there are apparently some side effects and some things that can go wrong that worry me a bit. So i'm going to have to call my doc and ask some more questions. i have no idea what to do.
my milk still seems to be low. i took fenugreek and it gives me a horrible headache. i have no idea why. so i've stopped taking it but my milk is still low. when we had to take Ari to the ER she weighed 13lbs 8oz. that means she's only gained like 5oz in the last 4 months. that's clearly an issue. i would like to take her to the doc and see what he says but i'm afraid his only suggestion will be to just give her formula and that's not the answer i'm looking for. i'm going to have to attempt to do some research on the subject and see what my other options are.
It looks like the kids and i may be moving to Iowa sooner than later. We are trying to work some things out and find out if the kids and i can go ahead and move there now instead of waiting until december. it would relieve some of my stress not having to be at my parents house anymore, but it would add some stress not having brian or anyone around to help out with the kids. i'd be completely on my own. we will know by this weekend what we are going to do with all of that.
ariana and ben are sleeping in this morning. it's kind of nice. emily is at school, jace is here playing cards on my bed, and i'm sitting her randomly blogging things that pop into my head. today is laundry day, and i'm not so excited about that. i hate laundry. my least favorite chore.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Our Trip
This has been the longest 5 days of my life I think. We were scheduled to fly out of Wichita at 5:19 thursday evening. We got to the airport and the flight had been delayed until around 6pm. Not to bad we figured, it atleast shortened our wait time in Chicago. We finally get on the plane and head out. We get to Chicago and there was no gate for us to go to. We sat on the tarmac in our plane for over 45 minutes. We finally get into Chicago and get to our gate for our next flight. We called the landlord to check in and make sure the key was under the mat. He informs us that he left it with the police and fire at the scene. Apparently the neighbors were doing yard work and were digging and hit the gas line. We get to Cedar Rapids at 10 something at night. We had trouble with our rental car, and finally were able to get one. Ari was very unhappy at this point. We leave the airport around 11pm. We decided to go by the rental house and get the key from under the mat and make sure that everything was okay there. Brian hadn't seen the house yet, and I hadn't been there since I rented it almost 5 weeks before. So we decide to do a walkthrough. We go downstairs to the basement and the smell almost made us ill. The basement was full of mold. There was mold growing on the carpet, up the wall, mushrooms along the baseboard. It was wet. It was horrible. We called the landlord at 11:30pm and told them this was unacceptable and that we would not take a house like that. He said he didn't realize it was still there (WTF we were never told it was there at all) he said he thought it was gone and that he could vacuum it up. NO NO NO we said. we refused the house and demanded that he meet us at the hotel the next morning at 7am. Mind you we were supposed to meet the movers at the house at 8am to unload. We got to bed at the hotel sometime after 2 and got up 5:30 to get showers and breakfast. The guy doesn't show, but calls. A big phone fight ensues. We call our relo specialist and she says we call the city inspector. The wife of the landlord calls and finally agrees to give us our money back. We get it back. We call everyone. The movers are holding our things waiting to hear from us. At 8:50am the relo specialist calls and says she found the name of a landlord who has some properties. I call him at 9am. We meet him at the house at 9:30am, we sign the papers at 9:50 am and the movers are there at 10:10am unloading our things. The landlord thought all utilities were on. By the time we all realized that gas wasn't on it was to late. We had no hot water. Called the company and the soonest they could get out would be thursday. So no dishes, laundry, or showers! YIKES! We spent all of Friday working on unpacking, about 7hrs total. Then Saturday we worked for over 10hrs. We snuck to the local Y, and told them we wanted to check out the place. We quickly ran into the locker rooms and took fast showers. The womens locker room had lukewarm water. :( They thought we were strange. Saturday Ariana took 9 hrs worth of naps, and had a low grade fever. She woke up at 1am with a 102+ fever so we called our local doctor. By 2am we were sitting in the local emergency room. they said she had a virus. UGGGH. Sunday we spent 9hrs unpacking and finally finished at 6:30pm. We called the hotel we had stayed out and they agreed to let us rent a room for 2 hrs to take showers. So we both got nice long hot showers and Ariana got one too! It was the most amazing shower I have ever taken in my life. Then we went out to dinner. Monday we mostly relaxed and watched a bit of TV. We got to the airport to leave, and our plane left Cedar Rapids at 1:19. Ariana screamed at the top of her lungs from the moment the plane left until about 20 minutes after we landed in Chicago. The Chicago landing was horrible. we landed uneven on our wheels so it made for a rough bouncy landing. Then we all of a sudden hit the brakes so hard that everything and everyone slammed into everything in front of us, then we sped up super fast and flew back the other directions. Turns out another plane was crossing the runway and we almost crashed into them. Not good. Then we made it home and got in about 20 minutes early. So now we are home and absolutely mentally and physically exhuasted. Brian is back to 10 hrs a week of OT on top of his normal 40 and he is in school 7hrs a week, plus the internet class, plus homework.
Now to arrange for utilities, lawn care, maintenance, etc....
UGGGGH
Now to arrange for utilities, lawn care, maintenance, etc....
UGGGGH
Monday, September 3, 2007
Home and Exhausted
we are home but beyond exhausted. i will blog tomorrow and update everything. it's been the longest few days of my life, and i can't even begin to type it all out right now. we are home and safe though!
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