Wednesday, April 7, 2010

So Many Updates....Where to Start

I have quite a few updates to get typed up today. I'm not quite sure where to start! I will start with the "juicy drama" update and move from there.
A few of you know about this already, most of you don't. Connie broke up with Brian. To quote her "I'm exhausted....constantly needing to teach him to become a parent." There are sooo many more things that have been said BUT out of respect for everyone involved I won't post anymore of them publicly on my blog. Basically he was lazy, slept in all the time, never wanted to help with the house or the kids, only did the minimal when forced, etc, etc, etc...Does this sound familiar to any of my dear friends out there who used to listen to me vent??? He is apparently causing her a decent bit of grief, go figure. I spent years trying to help him become a husband and a father and it didn't work. She spent over a year and it didn't work. HMMMMMM. That's all I have to say on this one!

Next onto updates that matter! :) Mr Eli. We went to KC and had all of his testing and meetings with the doc. He had a rough time with his 1st test, the biophysical kidney profile. It took them 5 tries to get the IV in. My little man is all bruised up. His kidney took on the fluid but wouldn't let go of it. It just kept filling. Halfway thru the study they gave him some lasix, and his kidney then began to empty some of the fluid. The doctor thinks that is maybe not an obstruction but a problem with the "well" where the fluid empties from the kidney. he described it as filling a small dixie cup(normal kidney) or a huge drum(eli's kidney). the kidney just keeps taking on fluid and never "overflows". He also said that he can only feel 1 of Eli's testicles and that it is 100% guaranteed that it will not drop on it's own and that Eli will be guaranteed surgery soon to repair. On the kidney he's just not quite sure. He wants to run more tests and he's 50/50 right now on if surgery will be what we'll do. He has changed Eli's antibiotics and now anytime it's suspected that Eli has a kidney infection he has to have a supra pubic stick instead of a catheter. This is where they will use ultrasound and stick a needle thru his stomach straight into his kidney and/or bladder. This is the cleanest catch possible. Doesn't sound fun. He is also reluctant to do surgery right now as Eli is just starting to gain weight and such. He wants us back the end of July for some more testing and to make a firm decision from there. So we wait AGAIN.

While we were gone Eli started getting very congested at night and coughing to the point he was waking up choking and having trouble catching his breath. He had a touch of this before we left, and we thought he was getting a cold. But it's only happening at night and is getting worse. He went to his pediatrician today and she did nasal swabs, lab work, and has lowered his night feedings to 30cc/hr times 8 hrs and has started him on nebulizer treatments. He will get them every 4 hrs at night time. She is going to have us call and check in right now on a daily basis so we can make sure that he's not losing weight. For most people losing 10cc/hr isn't anything (30cc are in an ounce for those who are unsure) but for Eli that's a huge amount. that's 80cc a night, which is almost 3 oz. So we want to keep a close eye on his weight. They did 2 tries on the lab work today and weren't able to get it apparently. They had to draw with a butterfly IV. So I have to take little man back in tomorrow so they can try again.

The older 4 are doing well. We spent a family day together on Saturday at Tanganyka Wildlife Park. It was sooo much fun! This Friday we will all be going to the circus. They were able to go last year as well and had so much fun! This year Bob is actually off work and gets to join us as well!
Other than that not much new. Just trying to get resituated after being out of town. The rest of this week will just be getting all of Eli's new meds/feeds adjusted, getting our nursing scheduale resituated and getting the house cleaned up and organized! We will also be getting our fence put up this weekend! Happy about that!

I will try and get some new pics posted soon!


Brian said...

There is a some truth to what Connie said. Yes, I slept in a lot on weekends (save for the last 3 Sundays.. the last one of which she woke me up after she went to sleep 2 or 3 hours before I did because she was too hung over to watch them). I wasn't always available to do housework for her or parent her kids for her. But at the end of the day, that's not my responsibility. I was her BOYFRIEND, not her HUSBAND. I'm not Brandon and Katelynn's parent. That's between Connie and Bob.

In the beginning, Connie explicitly told me she'd never ask me to be a parent to her kids because they already HAVE two parents: Connie and Bob; this notion of "training me to be a parent" came up in the last couple months, after she was upset with me over moving into my own 1 bedroom apartment instead of with her at the end of last year. And as far as helping around the house, I did what I could when asked; you figure, I didn't live with her. I have my own place to take care of as well. Not to mention it's not my responsiblity to make sure she is getting her housework done. She's 32 years old, not 15. she ought to be able to maintain enough control over her own household that she can do basic housework without having someone else watch the kids all the time. Effective childproofing could have solved this problem. On top of that, she has 4 or 5 people who get PAID for this type of stuff.

That said, up until this past Tuesday, I was over there 5 or 6 days a week, taking of the kids while she did dishes/took shower/slept, etc.

What it came down to was we weren't living together and she wanted me to pretend as though we were. We weren't married; not even engaged, but she expected me to pretend as though we were. I'm not Brandon and Katelynn's father. In fact, I have four children of my own. But she expected me to pretend as though I am, when really she should have got things straight with the father they already have.

She will be missed. The end of a relationship always sucks, but life goes on.

Heather said...

You do have 4 kids but you seem to never remember that. And I believe what connie said. I was married to you for years Bri. i know how you are and so do the children, and now so does connie.
some day you will have to figure out how a 2 sided relationship works, how to give and take. i hope you figure it out, but i won't be the one to teach you obviously.
maybe you need to put as much energy into your children as you put into everything else in your life. it's rewarding as could be and if you treat them right they will ALWAYS be by your side and ALWAYS love you.
but for some reason i can't convince you to be a father, i don't know why....

Brian said...

Give and take is one thing. Shifting your expectations on someone a year into the game to something that can't POSSIBLY work is another. There was no way I could move in with her without screwing her financially. On the other hand, if I'm going to pay to have my own separate place, I better be able to use it for something other than a place to go to bed.

Heather said...

have i mentioned that you should focus on your children and put time and energy into worry about them not a dumb exgirlfriend?