I've been thinking alot about alcohol lately. It's an interesting substance, to say the least. It transforms. It changes. I find it to be worse than many drugs. (not to say that drugs are good obviously.) But for some reason to some alcohol seems so innocent, so safe. I've never been one for alcohol really. I think most of it tastes horrible. I like the girly fruity drinks, and even them I'm lucky to finish one in an evening. Sure we have alcohol in the house sometimes. A few beers etc. It sits here for months on end.
I was reading online on one of my boards that I'm on a discussion on alcohol. The effects on the drinker, the family, the community as a whole. Some of the thoughts and opinions were really interesting. I found this and thought it was interesting so just had to share.
"Alcoholism is a family disease. The disease affects all those who have a relationship with a problem drinker. Those of us closest to the alcoholic suffer the most, and those who care the most can easily get caught up in the behavior of another person. We react to the alcoholic's behavior. We focus on them, what they do, where they are, how much they drink. We try to control their drinking for them. We take on the blame, guilt, and shame that really belong to the drinker. We can become as addicted to the alcoholic, as the alcoholic is to alcohol. We, too, can become ill."
The part I find most interesting is that the disease itself can become as addictive to the people around it as the alcohol for the alcoholic. Wow that's powerful. I would have never thought about it that way. That's scary, if you ask me. I'm not sure exactly where I'm trying to go with this, I just found this all interesting so thought I'd throw it out there and see what others think. Powerful stuff really!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
36 and 10 equals 46
I will not see brian 36 days, but will see him 10 days out of the next 46. That leads us to the end of this transition. Then he'll be here with us, permanently. Bri headed home today. He didn't leave here until 4:30. he had no interest in leaving. Emily said that he needed to get back to Wichita and finish there so he could come back here and live with us as a family forever. It was so cute, and sweet. It was nice having him here. This was his longest trip here, and his first trip on "normal days" where we were taking kids to school, shopping, cooking, etc. It was nice to get a glimpse back into normal family life. I will see him next when the kids and I go back to Wichita for Thanksgiving. Emily's adoption will be finalized on November 16th and we'll get into town on November 17th! Some celebration will definately be in order! She's very excited! We'll be in Wichita for a week. Then Brian will come back here the first weekend of December, so we can get a tree and decorate for Christmas together as a family!
Things went pretty well this weekend all in all. I'm pleased with that. The kids and I need to again settle back into our routine. I think that's been the hardest part for them. As soon as we start to get situated with a routine something happens and we have to start all over again! They've done well considering everything that has been going on around here.
Emily had her 2nd piano lesson today. She really enjoys it. The teacher said she is doing well and she has new songs to practice this next week. Her goal is to get a minimum of 1 yr of piano and then she wants to begin learning the violin. She's not sure if at that point she will do both, or just switch to the violin. We shall see. Music is definately something that she enjoys and it really comes naturally for her.
Ben did great at school today! Talking even more. They had playtime outside and the teacher said he was talking quite a bit out there. It's like night and day with him at school!
Jace is also doing well in school. He really enjoys being in school and around other kids. He loves the activities.
Ariana is doing well. She is cutting her first tooth, FINALLY! In fact it now looks like she is working on cutting both of the bottom 2. She's scooting all over the house and is into everything!
I'm doing pretty good. I've lost another 4 lbs. I'm past the point of all of my pre-preg clothing and loving that fact! tomorrow is Bri and I's anniversary and we did our gift exchange this weekend. I got him an 8MB Ipod so he could have all of his music with him wherever he goes! He got me the large digital photo frame! Right now I have 50 something pics slideshowing through it! I love it! I've been wanting one for a long time! It was so much fun to go through all of my pics and pic out all the cute candid photos of my family and put them into the slideshow!
Tomorrow my local moms group is having a halloween party here at my house. I'm excited to get to meet some more of the moms and have a great time!
Well Ben just hit Ari in the head with a plane, and now she's less than thrilled. Off to cuddle with her! :)
Things went pretty well this weekend all in all. I'm pleased with that. The kids and I need to again settle back into our routine. I think that's been the hardest part for them. As soon as we start to get situated with a routine something happens and we have to start all over again! They've done well considering everything that has been going on around here.
Emily had her 2nd piano lesson today. She really enjoys it. The teacher said she is doing well and she has new songs to practice this next week. Her goal is to get a minimum of 1 yr of piano and then she wants to begin learning the violin. She's not sure if at that point she will do both, or just switch to the violin. We shall see. Music is definately something that she enjoys and it really comes naturally for her.
Ben did great at school today! Talking even more. They had playtime outside and the teacher said he was talking quite a bit out there. It's like night and day with him at school!
Jace is also doing well in school. He really enjoys being in school and around other kids. He loves the activities.
Ariana is doing well. She is cutting her first tooth, FINALLY! In fact it now looks like she is working on cutting both of the bottom 2. She's scooting all over the house and is into everything!
I'm doing pretty good. I've lost another 4 lbs. I'm past the point of all of my pre-preg clothing and loving that fact! tomorrow is Bri and I's anniversary and we did our gift exchange this weekend. I got him an 8MB Ipod so he could have all of his music with him wherever he goes! He got me the large digital photo frame! Right now I have 50 something pics slideshowing through it! I love it! I've been wanting one for a long time! It was so much fun to go through all of my pics and pic out all the cute candid photos of my family and put them into the slideshow!
Tomorrow my local moms group is having a halloween party here at my house. I'm excited to get to meet some more of the moms and have a great time!
Well Ben just hit Ari in the head with a plane, and now she's less than thrilled. Off to cuddle with her! :)
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Weekend already ending
this weekend has gone super fast. My parents headed home this morning. We went out to breakfast with them, and then Brian and I took the kids out to a big mall out here and hung out and played for a bit. Then home for naps, and Brian and I laid around on the couch and watched TV together. A quiet semi-lazy day. Now tomorrow we are already back to running around and school and such. The nice part is Brian doesn't leave until tomorrow afternoon, but still i'm not ready for him to go. We won't see him again until thanksgiving. So this will be our longest stretch without seeing each other. Hopefully time will go fast. When he's here time flies, when we are apart time drags. Go figure. It has been nice having him here for a few and getting some extra sleep. I've been sleeping better at night, and it's been nice to have someone to share parenting responsibilities with. Makes me not so tired!
The kids are good. Ariana is getting her first tooth. She's chewing on everything, but it doesn't really seem to be bothering her.
that's about all really. back to the real world again tomorrow. go figure. :)
The kids are good. Ariana is getting her first tooth. She's chewing on everything, but it doesn't really seem to be bothering her.
that's about all really. back to the real world again tomorrow. go figure. :)
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Happy 7th Birthday!!!
Today was Emily's birthday! I can't believe she is already 7. WOW. Time flies. We had a good day with family. I made her cake and it turned out nice! She got what she wanted and was very happy about that! My parents head home tomorrow, but Brian doesn't go home until Monday! YEAH! I will update more of the weekend later!
Friday, October 26, 2007
Let the fun begin
bri got i at 8:30 last night. My parents are in KC and will be headed this way soon. We are getting ready to take the kids to school. I'm going to get Emily's cake made this morning. I'm making a castle! I'll post pics!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Brian is in Iowa!!!
Bri is in the state, he's still about 2 hrs away but close! :) My parents are headed to KC and then will stay there for the night and then come the rest of the way in the morning.
I've had a productive day today. I got Emily's presents wrapped and Brian's anniversary present, I got all of the laundry done, got the house cleaned, baked some orange glazed pumpkin cookies, and all that good stuff. So yep i feel like i've gotten alot done.
Jace cleaned the basement today. I was very impressed! He cleaned up the whole toy room by himself without asking for help! That's pretty unusual for him!
Ariana has big news. She has a tooth almost. you can finally see a tooth sitting right under a big puffy gum. So I'm guessing any day now she'll FINALLY have her first tooth!
Tomorrow will be nice having Brian here! He'll get to go take the kids to and from school, and he is also going to get to meet our DAN! Doc. So I'm very happy about that. I know that he has alot of questions so I think it will be good for him to actually sit down and chat with her and hear what she has to say.
The kids are bouncing off the walls tonight, especially Jace. They all know that it's a big weekend, and the waiting isn't doing so well for them. And Bri will get in after bedtime so they won't see him until morning.
I've had a productive day today. I got Emily's presents wrapped and Brian's anniversary present, I got all of the laundry done, got the house cleaned, baked some orange glazed pumpkin cookies, and all that good stuff. So yep i feel like i've gotten alot done.
Jace cleaned the basement today. I was very impressed! He cleaned up the whole toy room by himself without asking for help! That's pretty unusual for him!
Ariana has big news. She has a tooth almost. you can finally see a tooth sitting right under a big puffy gum. So I'm guessing any day now she'll FINALLY have her first tooth!
Tomorrow will be nice having Brian here! He'll get to go take the kids to and from school, and he is also going to get to meet our DAN! Doc. So I'm very happy about that. I know that he has alot of questions so I think it will be good for him to actually sit down and chat with her and hear what she has to say.
The kids are bouncing off the walls tonight, especially Jace. They all know that it's a big weekend, and the waiting isn't doing so well for them. And Bri will get in after bedtime so they won't see him until morning.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Family coming soon
Brian gets here tomorrow and my parents get here Friday. The kids are very excited that everyone is coming here! Emily is obviously exited about it being her birthday but I think she's even more excited to simply get to show them around!
Both kids earned their first stickers tonight. We are trying out a sticker rewards chart. I'm at the end of my sanity with them so I figured it was worth a try.
Ben had a meltdown this afternoon. He wanted fruit snacks but refused to say please. I stood firm and finally after 1 hr and 20 minutes he said please. I immediately gave him the fruit snacks. The rest of the evening he immediately said please anytime he wanted something. Also he talked to his teachers today! YAH!!!! As soon as I walked in his room his teacher ran over and told me about it. He said "puppy", "I want turn" and "I want fish". I'm so excited! This is his first time to say a single word to his teachers. They said that again today he was interacting more with the activities and making eye contact and responding to them! I'm beyond excited to think that the supplements are helping so much and so fast. He was starting to get constipated gain, got an adjustment and as soon as she stood him up from the table he pooped. He's been pooping every since! I wish I would have done all of this sooner! But i'm glad we are doing it now and I'm so happy to be seeing so many good improvements. We've cut back Ben's dairy, and haven't done anything with removing gluten for him.
Jace had his first adjustment this week. He's also on the supplements, and I've completely cut out dairy with him, and we are looking at alternatives for removing gluten. We'll probably cut it in the morning, and try to replace a snack with something gluten free but not completely remove it right now!
So anyways now that I'm rambling away...I'm going to go watch a bit of TV and head to bed. I'm tired!
hugs and loves and missing everyone!
Special kisses to little thumper!
Both kids earned their first stickers tonight. We are trying out a sticker rewards chart. I'm at the end of my sanity with them so I figured it was worth a try.
Ben had a meltdown this afternoon. He wanted fruit snacks but refused to say please. I stood firm and finally after 1 hr and 20 minutes he said please. I immediately gave him the fruit snacks. The rest of the evening he immediately said please anytime he wanted something. Also he talked to his teachers today! YAH!!!! As soon as I walked in his room his teacher ran over and told me about it. He said "puppy", "I want turn" and "I want fish". I'm so excited! This is his first time to say a single word to his teachers. They said that again today he was interacting more with the activities and making eye contact and responding to them! I'm beyond excited to think that the supplements are helping so much and so fast. He was starting to get constipated gain, got an adjustment and as soon as she stood him up from the table he pooped. He's been pooping every since! I wish I would have done all of this sooner! But i'm glad we are doing it now and I'm so happy to be seeing so many good improvements. We've cut back Ben's dairy, and haven't done anything with removing gluten for him.
Jace had his first adjustment this week. He's also on the supplements, and I've completely cut out dairy with him, and we are looking at alternatives for removing gluten. We'll probably cut it in the morning, and try to replace a snack with something gluten free but not completely remove it right now!
So anyways now that I'm rambling away...I'm going to go watch a bit of TV and head to bed. I'm tired!
hugs and loves and missing everyone!
Special kisses to little thumper!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Holy Freaking Cow
What an evening. I was in the middle of cooking dinner. Jace is cleaning, Emily is practicing piano, and Ben and Ari are playing in the sunroom. All of a sudden I hear a thud and Ben screaming. I go running in there and he's between the couch and the coffee table on the floor. He busted his lip open and it was bleeding and then his nose started bleeding a bit. At this point Emily and Jace start running everywhere. Emily brings me 1 large DUCKY bath towel and a BRIGHT ORANGE handtowel dripping cold water all over the kitchen floor ( i asked for 1 small WHITE washcloth) and Jace just runs through the house screaming EMERGENCY EMERGENCY. Then not even 1 1/2 minutes later Jace comes running into the kitchen holding Ari and drops her on the tile floor. He claims she was eating a box. So clearly Ari is now screaming her ass off. Emily is screaming Jace dropped her, Jace dropped her. Jace is screaming Ari ate a box Ari ate a box, Ben and Ari are just screaming, and my eggs are burning onto my new skillet on the stove. Yep that was our evening. Great huh? I love them. I love them all the time. I really really do. Honest. :)
Monday, October 22, 2007
4 yr old possibly for sale
I love him. I really really love him. BUT he's driving me bonkers. He and I are going round and round so many times a day, I'm so dizzy by the end of the day I can hardly think straight. He's really been power struggling and testing his boundaries lately. I'm at the end of my sanity, and out of ideas on how to deal with it. There has got to be something that I'm missing but I just don't know what it is yet.
Ben did well at school today. It was his first day back since starting his supplements. They commented to me that they noticed a change in him! I was so happy about that!
Emily had a half day of school today. Then this afternoon was her first piano lesson. She enjoyed it. She has to practice for 10 minutes a day! I'm curious to see how she will do keeping up with that.
Ari and I did some experimenting today with her feedings. I weighed her before and after and she's getting more than enough milk. I'm going to up my calories a bit and see if that helps. Also I bought her some yogurt, tofu, avocados, and spinach. We'll see how that does as well!
That's about all in the world of me. Tomorrow morning we have a playdate. Then the boys have an appt with our DAN! Doc. Then I'm hoping to get some laundry done during nap time! Gotta love it!
Hugs and missing everyone....
AND....last but definately not least!!!
CONGRATS and welcome to the world Thumper!!!!!! (pics, need lots of pics!!!!!!!)
Ben did well at school today. It was his first day back since starting his supplements. They commented to me that they noticed a change in him! I was so happy about that!
Emily had a half day of school today. Then this afternoon was her first piano lesson. She enjoyed it. She has to practice for 10 minutes a day! I'm curious to see how she will do keeping up with that.
Ari and I did some experimenting today with her feedings. I weighed her before and after and she's getting more than enough milk. I'm going to up my calories a bit and see if that helps. Also I bought her some yogurt, tofu, avocados, and spinach. We'll see how that does as well!
That's about all in the world of me. Tomorrow morning we have a playdate. Then the boys have an appt with our DAN! Doc. Then I'm hoping to get some laundry done during nap time! Gotta love it!
Hugs and missing everyone....
AND....last but definately not least!!!
CONGRATS and welcome to the world Thumper!!!!!! (pics, need lots of pics!!!!!!!)
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Definately NOT a lazy day
Today was definately not a lazy day. We went household shopping and grocery shopping, went to a local farm and bought pumpkins. Then we handmade all of Emily's bday card invites, made halloween cookies, decorated pumpkins, we made a rules chart, and 2 sticker rewards charts, and cleaned out the closets and changed all the clothes over from summer to winter. Oh and cleaned the kitchen and cooked dinnner! :) I'm feeling like we accomplished quite a bit today!
My good friend is in labor. She called earlier saying she thought her water might be leaking. Then called back saying her water broke. I'm so excited for her but sad that I'm not there to be with her right now! :( I know I'll get pictures soon and will be running to go see her as soon as I get in town for Thanksgiving!
I ate green beans tonight. For any of you who know me you know that is huge. The kids saw fresh cut green beans at the store today and wanted them. I bought them and made some with dinner. I forced myself to eat them because I knew they would be good for me. Definately not yummy but not quite as bad as the canned crap! :)
I'm very excited! My hubby and parents are coming here for the weekend. Emily's bday is Saturday and they are going to come and help celebrate! I bought all the food for that today, so that is nice! We will be busy! The kids are excited to get to show everyone their house, and schools, and all that!
Bedtime is slowly making it's way here. I'm sooo ready! The days are busy and it gets dark early and I get so sleepy!
My good friend is in labor. She called earlier saying she thought her water might be leaking. Then called back saying her water broke. I'm so excited for her but sad that I'm not there to be with her right now! :( I know I'll get pictures soon and will be running to go see her as soon as I get in town for Thanksgiving!
I ate green beans tonight. For any of you who know me you know that is huge. The kids saw fresh cut green beans at the store today and wanted them. I bought them and made some with dinner. I forced myself to eat them because I knew they would be good for me. Definately not yummy but not quite as bad as the canned crap! :)
I'm very excited! My hubby and parents are coming here for the weekend. Emily's bday is Saturday and they are going to come and help celebrate! I bought all the food for that today, so that is nice! We will be busy! The kids are excited to get to show everyone their house, and schools, and all that!
Bedtime is slowly making it's way here. I'm sooo ready! The days are busy and it gets dark early and I get so sleepy!
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Lazy Day
today has been quite the lazy day. I didn't get my shower and out of my pjs until almsot 4pm. We laid around, watched tv, played on the computer, had a quiet breakfast and lunch. I did do some dishes this morning but that's about it. I've thought about going out and doing something but just not motivated to go do anything.
when i got ben up from nap he was in his room naked, and you could clearly smell poop. he apparently pooped, took his pullup off, dumped the contents on the floor and put his pullup back in his dresser with his other pullups. i mean what the heck. talk about recycling. so yah i'm not sure what i'm going to do that get that habit quickly stopped.
in other news...well nothing actually. there really is no other news. :)
when i got ben up from nap he was in his room naked, and you could clearly smell poop. he apparently pooped, took his pullup off, dumped the contents on the floor and put his pullup back in his dresser with his other pullups. i mean what the heck. talk about recycling. so yah i'm not sure what i'm going to do that get that habit quickly stopped.
in other news...well nothing actually. there really is no other news. :)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Been Busy
My hubby informed me that I haven't blogged in days. We've been busy trying to get situated again being home. The kids are back at school and very happy about that! Benjamin wanted to go but he won't go back until Monday. Ben, Ari and I have been grocery shopping and fall decoration shopping. We bought a few decorations today at hobby lobby and decorated the house up for fall time. It looks and smells yummmmmy in here! This evening I'm baking some loaves of pumpkin chocolate chip bread! Can't wait to sample them!
The weather had been super cold here! I kept turning the heat up and couldn't figure out why it never warmed up. Finally we called the landlord. he came over today and the darned pilot light on the furnace hadn't been lit. Go figure. So basically it was blowing cold air out into the house, subsequently making it colder. So now it's feeling much better in here and it will be nice tonight to not have to try to keep 12 covers on top of me and the kids! :)
I'm missing Brian, but it's not like it was at first. We are making sure to see each other often and that really helps. Also the kids and I have simply been so busy that it helps.
Benjamin is doing well on his new supplements. His appetite is doing pretty good. He hasn't eaten as well today, but I keep reminding myself that he will have his off days. He has pooped twice in 2 days which for him is amazing!!! His attitude is even changing a bit. He's been little Mr troublemaker. Not good that he's getting into trouble, but good that he's experimenting and exploring and such
We are preparing for Emily's bday next week. She's going to have a castle cake. She's very excited! She is also going to start piano lessons next Monday. She will go once a week. She wants to learn violin. I called a teacher and she says they start with piano for one year and then can begin learning violin. Emily is excited! I have no doubt that she will love it, as music has always been a passion of hers!
Well Little Ariana is getting fussy. I'm thinking she's getting tired. Morning naps have been few and far between! :)
missing everyone! hugs and love!
The weather had been super cold here! I kept turning the heat up and couldn't figure out why it never warmed up. Finally we called the landlord. he came over today and the darned pilot light on the furnace hadn't been lit. Go figure. So basically it was blowing cold air out into the house, subsequently making it colder. So now it's feeling much better in here and it will be nice tonight to not have to try to keep 12 covers on top of me and the kids! :)
I'm missing Brian, but it's not like it was at first. We are making sure to see each other often and that really helps. Also the kids and I have simply been so busy that it helps.
Benjamin is doing well on his new supplements. His appetite is doing pretty good. He hasn't eaten as well today, but I keep reminding myself that he will have his off days. He has pooped twice in 2 days which for him is amazing!!! His attitude is even changing a bit. He's been little Mr troublemaker. Not good that he's getting into trouble, but good that he's experimenting and exploring and such
We are preparing for Emily's bday next week. She's going to have a castle cake. She's very excited! She is also going to start piano lessons next Monday. She will go once a week. She wants to learn violin. I called a teacher and she says they start with piano for one year and then can begin learning violin. Emily is excited! I have no doubt that she will love it, as music has always been a passion of hers!
Well Little Ariana is getting fussy. I'm thinking she's getting tired. Morning naps have been few and far between! :)
missing everyone! hugs and love!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
home
we are home. made it in 8 hrs. never seen so much rain. tired. more later. love and miss all. :)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Trip Extended
We are staying an extra day, going home tomorrow now. After yesterday I'm exhausted and there are a few things that I needed to get done today. So we will be going home tomorrow now. I'm ready to get home! I need to get the kids back to school! :)
Monday, October 15, 2007
WE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE WON WE WON WE WON
That is really all I can say at this point. We won. We are beyond excited. Almost 6 yrs and we won! We are going out tonight and celebrating! Emily is soooo excited!!!
I will update all the details later but wanted to just let everyone know that we won!!!!!
That is really all I can say at this point. We won. We are beyond excited. Almost 6 yrs and we won! We are going out tonight and celebrating! Emily is soooo excited!!!
I will update all the details later but wanted to just let everyone know that we won!!!!!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Busy
Things have been busy. We've been getting appointments and shopping done, we've been visiting with family and friends, we've been spending time together. Friday night Brian and I took the older 2 to a haunted house and skating. They freaked out at the haunted house, and struggled skating but all in all we had a nice time. Saturday night Brian and I went out to Crown Uptown. It was a dinner theater. The food was good, and the musical was funny! It was nice to be out just the 2 of us. I promise to have a long indepth update tomorrow night!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Information Overload
I have spent 6 hrs today reading and researching. I've read 250 pages in books, researched about 30 internet sites, and picked apart symptoms and treatments on Asperger's and Autism. I'm more confused than when I started I think. It's so much information, and so conflicting. Some say shots cause it, some say mercury, some say who knows, ssome say change diets, try supplements, intensive therapy, hope it will go away, accept it, which therapy to try, etc. I think it is a very unique diagnosis in the fact that nobody knows exactly what causes it, or how to work with it. it has no cure, no fix. One of the books i read had an interesting statement. It said something to the affect that if a family has a child diagnoses with cancer people come pouring in with meals, support, and help; but then a child is diagnosed with autism and people avoid you in the grocery store. I don't get why that is. I pray that people don't look at him differently, don't treat him any differently. I pray that I have the wisdom and the strength to figure out how to best help him, without neglecting my other parenting and wifely (is that actually a word) responsibilities.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
home from Ben's appt
It went well. She asked me hundreds of questions and watched Ben play. She agrees with the diagnosis of autism. She is concerned with his eating issues, and said that alot of austic children have digestive issues. She said she wanted to get him into a program as quickly as possible. I was home for not even 30 minutes and she called and said she had found a program at the University of Iowa Medical Center, and had already spoken with them and they said they would accept him into their program. This is only about 20 minutes away from our house, so that is definately a relief! They are going to try to get him in quickly to get the eating issues dealt with fairly fast. He's lost about 5lbs this last month. Poor guy. She reccomended some books for me to read, so I will be going to B and N later today for books! All the info I can get right now!
I went out to lunch with a good friend. It was the 2 of us and 6 kids under the age of 7. It was a mess but nice. It was also nice because Ben decided to eat. He had 2 sausage patties and a few bites of a mickey mouse pancake! :) YEAH BEN!!!
Thank you for all the encouraging emails we are receiving from everyone! It means alot to know that everyone is first of all in general keeping up with us on our blog, and secondly that everyone is thinking about us and praying for us right now! Thanks so much! HUGS to everyone!
I went out to lunch with a good friend. It was the 2 of us and 6 kids under the age of 7. It was a mess but nice. It was also nice because Ben decided to eat. He had 2 sausage patties and a few bites of a mickey mouse pancake! :) YEAH BEN!!!
Thank you for all the encouraging emails we are receiving from everyone! It means alot to know that everyone is first of all in general keeping up with us on our blog, and secondly that everyone is thinking about us and praying for us right now! Thanks so much! HUGS to everyone!
Wichita
We are in Wichita. The trip was horrible. I got an intenses migraine on the way up and literally had to pull over and get a hotel room for a bit. It wasn't fun. We are here now though. The kids were excited to see my parents. This morning Benjamin told me he's ready to go home, to his "new house". Poor guy.
This morning Ben has more detailed autism testing. I'm hoping to get some good answer. Today is Day 2 of him being on his supplements. Jace is also taking them.
I weighed myself this morning and have lost 2 more pounds. I'm happy, but was hoping the number would be a bit bigger.
Anyways blogs maybe shorter over this week, as we will be busy seeing family and such!
This morning Ben has more detailed autism testing. I'm hoping to get some good answer. Today is Day 2 of him being on his supplements. Jace is also taking them.
I weighed myself this morning and have lost 2 more pounds. I'm happy, but was hoping the number would be a bit bigger.
Anyways blogs maybe shorter over this week, as we will be busy seeing family and such!
Monday, October 8, 2007
UGGGGHHHH
everything in our life has culminated to a head over the last 24 hrs. Bri and my parents had a "situation" that pretty much ended in a complete breakdown in communication and everything else. It's a mess all around, and I attempted to help out, causing an even larger breakdown, ending in disaster. I'm absolutely done.
Today we had our appointments with the MD and with a local chiropractor who specializes with special needs children. Both told me that they are 99% sure that my "diagnosis" of Benjamin is correct. The doc is going to send us for specialized evaluation to get a definitive diagnosis for insurance, but we already know. Benjamin is autistic. I'm going to go ahead and start him on 3 supplements effective tomorrow, and am going to start pumping and see if I can get enough milk to supplement him. I'm relived to have a diagnosis but I feel horrible for Ben. The stigma that goes along with autism is horrible. I don't want people to treat him any different, he's still the same Benjamin that he has always been. I need to figure out how to deal with this as well. My heart is breaking for him. And I feel completely alone here with this.
I'm learning to knit. Right now I'm just knitting and purling rows back and forth, practicing over and over. I'm getting fast at it and pretty good. It is so therapeutic right now for me. I'm going to need to get my own set of needles soon and start getting some patterns so I can actually start making things. I suppose what I'm making right now is going to be a hot pad! i can't think of anything else to do with it! :)
I leave for Wichita tomorrow. I was looking forward to this trip, but not anymore. I'm not ready. I'm still trying to figure out how to situate our life here. I don't know how the shift in schedule and people is going to be for Benjamin. How he'll handle it. And I have no clue what kind of environment I'm getting ready to walk into at my parents house.
Today we had our appointments with the MD and with a local chiropractor who specializes with special needs children. Both told me that they are 99% sure that my "diagnosis" of Benjamin is correct. The doc is going to send us for specialized evaluation to get a definitive diagnosis for insurance, but we already know. Benjamin is autistic. I'm going to go ahead and start him on 3 supplements effective tomorrow, and am going to start pumping and see if I can get enough milk to supplement him. I'm relived to have a diagnosis but I feel horrible for Ben. The stigma that goes along with autism is horrible. I don't want people to treat him any different, he's still the same Benjamin that he has always been. I need to figure out how to deal with this as well. My heart is breaking for him. And I feel completely alone here with this.
I'm learning to knit. Right now I'm just knitting and purling rows back and forth, practicing over and over. I'm getting fast at it and pretty good. It is so therapeutic right now for me. I'm going to need to get my own set of needles soon and start getting some patterns so I can actually start making things. I suppose what I'm making right now is going to be a hot pad! i can't think of anything else to do with it! :)
I leave for Wichita tomorrow. I was looking forward to this trip, but not anymore. I'm not ready. I'm still trying to figure out how to situate our life here. I don't know how the shift in schedule and people is going to be for Benjamin. How he'll handle it. And I have no clue what kind of environment I'm getting ready to walk into at my parents house.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Caught in the Middle
Sometimes I feel stuck in the middle. I'm here in Iowa, a large portion of our family is in Kansas, including my husband, obviously. I'm trying to arrainge Emily's birthday so she has a great 7th birthday. That apparently isn't so easy. Brian is coming, and my parents are coming, and Brian's mom may be able to make it as well. I'm trying to organize people's arrival, sleeping arraingments and food. It's hard to get that all coordinated so that everyone is happy. I want the focus to stay on the fact that it's Emily's birthday, not on everyone's requests and wants. Also my family is having trouble learning to adjust to Brian's personality quirks. He is working OT and and going to school, and he's exhausted. By the time he gets home he eats and goes to his room and does computer stuff, watches TV, and sleeps. My family is feeling like he's upset or antisocial, and are wondering if they are doing something wrong. Brian doesn't even realize that he's coming across that way. He's just in his own world, being Brian. He doesn't feel connected to anything anymore in Wichita and is really missing his family. He feels as though he's stuck in limbo and that makes it even harder for him. So instead of them talking it out, I'm emailed privately by all parties, and left feeling like I'm the problem solver. I hear both sides, and I can completely see where both sides are coming from, but I have no idea how to make it better. I don't want anyone to get their feelings hurt or to feel like they've done something wrong. Nobody is mad at anybody, it's just a hard tiring time.
I just want all of this to be over with. I want my family back together again. I miss Brian, alot.
On a lighter good side we finally got our couch today. We got a large 3 piece sectional! I found it in the local newspaper. It's big and comfy, and does exactly what I need, and best of all it was cheap! :) YEAH! The kids are loving laying on it, and I can't wait to curl up on it tonight and watch TV! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want all of this to be over with. I want my family back together again. I miss Brian, alot.
On a lighter good side we finally got our couch today. We got a large 3 piece sectional! I found it in the local newspaper. It's big and comfy, and does exactly what I need, and best of all it was cheap! :) YEAH! The kids are loving laying on it, and I can't wait to curl up on it tonight and watch TV! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Decent Day
Today didn't start out so great. Bri and I had a fight this morning so that started the day out pretty rough. It did improve for me though. I did some baking, and some decorating so that was nice. I cleaned house...scrubbed floors, bathrooms, etc. This is actually the first time I've done a full cleaning since we got here. It looks so much better in here!
Then a friend came over with her 2 kids. We talked cloth diapers, and she is teaching me how to knit. I'm learning so that I can make my own wool covers. We had a great time.
I finally got my tags this afternoon. took darned long enough, and was a big enough pain. But I have them, official Iowa tags, and an Iowa drivers license. Weird.
Emily told me this evening that I was the best mom ever and that I'm doing great keeping up with the housework. It made me feel good! :)
Ariana had her first cake. She was all frantic when I was eating a piece so I broke off small bites for her, and she loved it! Go figure!
Then a friend came over with her 2 kids. We talked cloth diapers, and she is teaching me how to knit. I'm learning so that I can make my own wool covers. We had a great time.
I finally got my tags this afternoon. took darned long enough, and was a big enough pain. But I have them, official Iowa tags, and an Iowa drivers license. Weird.
Emily told me this evening that I was the best mom ever and that I'm doing great keeping up with the housework. It made me feel good! :)
Ariana had her first cake. She was all frantic when I was eating a piece so I broke off small bites for her, and she loved it! Go figure!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Weird Dream Last night
I had a super weird dream last night. I dreamed that Brian and I went to Walmart to buy a Christmas tree. They had a special going on, that with each tree you bought you got a free sheep dressed up like a christmas tree. As we were leaving Walmart there was a protest going on. It was animal rights activists. Brian made me carry the sheep. They kept yelling at us and telling us that these sheeped weren't farm raised and that they were mass produced. Everytime we would get close to our van they would move our van farther away. As I was in that stage of coming out of a dream right before waking up I yelled at them that it was ok because after the holiday we were going to use the wool to knit diaper covers, so we were recycling. then I woke up. Spoooky. If that tells you anything about the lifestyle I'm experiencing around here! :)
In other news Benjamin still isn't feeling well. He only got sick one more time around 4:30am. He is still running a fever though and very sleepy and grumpy. Poor guy. He's napping now and I'm hoping that when he wakes up he'll be feeling a bit better.
In other news Benjamin still isn't feeling well. He only got sick one more time around 4:30am. He is still running a fever though and very sleepy and grumpy. Poor guy. He's napping now and I'm hoping that when he wakes up he'll be feeling a bit better.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Sickness AGAIN
Now Mr Ben is sick. I had to wake him up from nap and he was groggy. We got Emily and ran to the bank. He didn't eat his cookies and then laid on the floor of the bank. Was headed to the tag office, and he was crying, and then threw up all over himself. I wasn't sure if he was sick, or if he gagged on a cookie while crying. Came home, gave him a bath, and he was sorta okay but quiet. Then I checked his temp, and 100.4 So gave him tylenol and he laid in the chair and watched TV. He got fussy and went to bed early. He hasn't gotten sick again, so I'm not sure. By this point Emily had gotten sick like 10 something times. So not sure. We'll see how the night goes and hopefully he is feeling better in the morning.
I have a headache. I haven't slept near as much as I'd like, I haven't been making sure to eat and drink enough, and I've just been really stressed. So I think that is the cause of it all. I don't seem to be getting them until late in the day. I really need to be watching that I'm eating and drinking enough.
that's about all going on here. the kids are all in bed, and I'm going to watch a bit of TV and head to be myself!
I have a headache. I haven't slept near as much as I'd like, I haven't been making sure to eat and drink enough, and I've just been really stressed. So I think that is the cause of it all. I don't seem to be getting them until late in the day. I really need to be watching that I'm eating and drinking enough.
that's about all going on here. the kids are all in bed, and I'm going to watch a bit of TV and head to be myself!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
shopping trip from Hell
We picked emily up from school and ran to the local grocery store to get our shopping done. the boys ran in and there it was. the darned school bus shopping cart. they piled in. part of the way through the store jace starts complaining that one of the steering wheels is missing and he wants to switch places with Ben so he can have a turn. I have Ben switch places and the tantrum begins. Ben screams and throws and hits and kicks. I take him out of the front car part and put him in the front basket with me. He gets even madder. At this point everyone in the area is staring at me. Some people with a look of sympathy some people with a very angry look. I quietly try to talk to him and calm him down but he's not having it. We grab the last few things and go to the checkout. i couldn't even hear the checkout lady. She offers a sucker, I refuse. The lady in line behind me comments that this is when you just want to pretend like they aren't even your kid. i thought yeah right. we simply couldn't get out of the store fast enough. then emily needs to pee, so we have to go find the bathroom, and then back to the front for stamps that i almost forgot. finally we were out of there. Ben didn't stop crying until we'd been home for 10 minutes. I just wanted to scream myself. It definately makes life hard.
October Already
I can't believe it's already October, the 2nd day in fact! Time is going fast, which is a good thing! The weekend with Brian has definately refreshed me. I'm not feeling quite so alone, and seperated. I will be in Wichita in 8 days! I'm not sure how I feel about that. I'm excited to see everyone, but not the least bit happy about the drive with all of the kids by myself! :)
We are slowly adusting to life around here. It's alot different than life in Wichita. Things are slower here, very earth, environmental friendly. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but back home life is much faster and very convenience driven which results in alot more waste. We are adjusting to recycling and the kids think it's fun to have all the seperate bins in the kitchen. We have decided to minimize our waste (we are only allowed 1 35gallon trash container a week, and then full recycle bin and compost bin, and glass bins) that we are going to go back to using cloth diapers. We are going the cheap easy route of prefolds with wraps, covers, and wool. Our diaper trash each week alone is filling our limit on trash, so we've gotta make some more changes. We have been going to the local co-ops to buy our fruits and veggies, and will be going to the city wide farmers market this coming weekend. They close off an entire section of town and turn it into one huge farmers market. The kids are excited!
The kids are loving it here. Jace informed me this morning on the way to school that he likes it better in Iowa. i thought it was so cute. They are also getting used to spending alot of time outdoors. Benjamin screamed the whole way in the car this morning that he NEEDED to go outside. So we went to one of the local trails and went on a 2 mile walk. It is a very nice limestone trail, with small hills all throughout it. So pushing the weighted down double stroller through that was definately some exercise for me.
The leaves are turning fast here! The trees are also dropping leaves left and right. I can't believe how quickly fall is taking over! It has been pretty cool, and we've been living in jeans and long sleeve tshirts, in the mornings even sweaters.
The kids are all napping, and the house is quiet. It is my favorite time of day! We are supposed to get rain again this afternoon so the sky is that gray cloudy color, and you can hear the wind rustling in the trees. Perfect napping weather! :)
We are slowly adusting to life around here. It's alot different than life in Wichita. Things are slower here, very earth, environmental friendly. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but back home life is much faster and very convenience driven which results in alot more waste. We are adjusting to recycling and the kids think it's fun to have all the seperate bins in the kitchen. We have decided to minimize our waste (we are only allowed 1 35gallon trash container a week, and then full recycle bin and compost bin, and glass bins) that we are going to go back to using cloth diapers. We are going the cheap easy route of prefolds with wraps, covers, and wool. Our diaper trash each week alone is filling our limit on trash, so we've gotta make some more changes. We have been going to the local co-ops to buy our fruits and veggies, and will be going to the city wide farmers market this coming weekend. They close off an entire section of town and turn it into one huge farmers market. The kids are excited!
The kids are loving it here. Jace informed me this morning on the way to school that he likes it better in Iowa. i thought it was so cute. They are also getting used to spending alot of time outdoors. Benjamin screamed the whole way in the car this morning that he NEEDED to go outside. So we went to one of the local trails and went on a 2 mile walk. It is a very nice limestone trail, with small hills all throughout it. So pushing the weighted down double stroller through that was definately some exercise for me.
The leaves are turning fast here! The trees are also dropping leaves left and right. I can't believe how quickly fall is taking over! It has been pretty cool, and we've been living in jeans and long sleeve tshirts, in the mornings even sweaters.
The kids are all napping, and the house is quiet. It is my favorite time of day! We are supposed to get rain again this afternoon so the sky is that gray cloudy color, and you can hear the wind rustling in the trees. Perfect napping weather! :)
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