Wow. It's been 2 years. 2 years ago today I was laying on an ultrasound table, excited to see our little baby and find out if we were having a girl or a boy. I knew during an ultrasound they checked to make sure the baby was well and healthy and growing well, but after 4 previous pregnancies and countless ultrasounds I had grown so used to everything being great, I had learned to enjoy the time of getting to see my little one. No other thoughts had every really crossed my mind.
Not so on August 28th, 2009. We did find out that we were having a boy. We also found out that something was wrong. He wasn't growing properly, and something was definitely going horribly wrong with his kidney. They weren't sure the extent of it all, they weren't sure what was causing it to happen, and they weren't sure if it would get any worse. But we knew that it wasn't right. From this point on our world has never been the same.
From this point on life began to slip. Slip into the medical realm. We didn't know the road it would ultimately take us down, but looking back this is where the road began. We were so scared then. The uncertainty. Looking back it seems like it was so easy then, that's knowing what we know NOW. Then we still had a glimmer of hope, a glimmer that it could be some simply growth issue that he would ultimately catch up from. Glimmers of hope that the kidney could be saved, or at worst he would need surgery to remove the one that wasn't working well. But to parents of healthy children, that sounded oh so scary.
We wouldn't have chosen to do anything different, if we had known then what we know now. Every choice we have made in these last 2 years has been well thought out and well researched. We are just as in love with our little man now as we were then, probably more so.
I simply cant believe it's been 2 years today. The amount that has happened since that day. The changes in Eli, in our family, in me. wow. I'm terrified to think ahead 2 years, but in some ways it's just as terrifying to think back over these last 2 years.
As you can probably tell by the above slightly disorganized post, I simply can't find the right words to describe how I'm feeling.
Wow. 2 years.