headed to KC

we will be leaving in a few hours to head to KC. We will be staying the afternoon and night at a big lodge there with a huge indoor waterpark. Saturday afternoon we will meet my parents at the TRex restaurant and then the kids will go back to Wichita with my parents for a week. Brian and I will come back home. It will be weird not having the kids for a week! i'm a bit nervous on how they will do, but I'm excited! i can't even imagine the house for a week with no kids! i might even be able to get it completely clean! :)

Advocate

I went to my first meeting last night. I went to our local chapter meeting of the Autism Society of America. I was a bit nervous to go. To be honest I wasn't sure what to expect, or who I would meet. I've never actually met another parent of an autistic child in person. I've spoken with many on the internet but never in person. I know that sounds so strange, but for some reason I almost expect autistic parents to look different. Not look different in a bad way, but different. Life with an autistic child is beyond the realm of imaginable for people who aren't living "the life". you almost get the feeling that an autistic parent will look tough, and tired, and broken, and worry lines, and almost be covered in full body armor, you almost imagine PECS pictures stuck on them, you can almost see them begging and pleading with their child to just eat one bite of food that day, you can almost see them charting potty times, and praying for a bowel movement soon, so that you don't have to do the "painful fixes", you almost expect to hear them screaming to god about why they are living this, you almost expect to see a parent with 12 arms flying in all directions...i don't know if this makes sense to all of you reading it, but i know it made sense to them. we had this discussion last night. It was an amazing 2 hrs. It was 2 hrs that I could mention something without having to explain it. It was a time when a parent shared a joy over a normal solid not painful bowel movement for his son and everyone in the rooms eyes sparkled and smiles formed in excitement for that family. It was a time when a mom mentioned meltdowns, and everyone's eyes showed pain and empathy, and exact knowledge of what she meant. She wasn't talking a toddler tantrum, she was talking an autistic meltdown. A meltdown that lasts for hours, that has no beginning and no end, a meltdown that raises body temperature to over 101 degrees, a meltdown that causes the eyes to completely dialate and roll back, a meltdown that causes enough sweat to pour off the toddlers body that their lips becomes dry and cracked and bleeding in a matter of 30 minutes, a meltdown that causes vomiting and dry heaving, a meltdown that ends in pure exhaustion with hours of sleeping afterwards, an autistic meltdown. After the meeting I exchanged phone numbers with many of the parents and we are going to get together, and talk, and let the kids be together. We need that as a family, I need that as a mother trying to figure out how to be an mom to an autistic child. I learned last night that I am Ben's advocate. It is my job to fight for everything that my child needs. I have no idea if this post will make sense to most of you reading it. I hope it does.

Spring + Easter = Snow

We woke up this morning, and looked out the window and everything was dusted in white. Go figure. It snowed all morning and stopped early afternoon. go figure.
Yesterday we decided to color eggs. I came up with the brilliant idea to blow the eggs out so that we wouldn't have to keep them in the fridge. This was beyond time consuming. I'm not sure if this is something that we will ever do this again. However the kids had lots of fun coloring the eggs and they turned out super cute. After the kids went to bed, brian and I spent over 2 hrs setting up their easter egg hunt. We made a scavenger hunt out of it. Each egg had a picture clue sending them to the next location. they did this for 18 clues until they found their baskets. Then they spent the rest of the day playing with their toys, coloring, watching TV, and playing the Wii. I got started on sewing a dress for Emily. It's going pretty good so far.
My spring break is over, and i'm back at school tomorrow. I'm not excited to get back. It's been nice being here at home this last week with the kids. It hasn't been quite so hectic.
Ariana has her recheck at the doctor tomorrow after her ear infection. She seems to be doing alot better, but still pretty croupy and congested. We shall see. She still isn't walking yet, but is making a few more sounds and babbling. She has therapy again this week, so we'll see how that goes.
Benjamin is doing ok. He is still struggling to go to the PECS cards on his own, but will go sometimes if we remind him too. it's worked some. He's on a major food strike right now, worse than we've ever dealt with. he doesn't eat dinner at all, and eats a minimal amount during the day. We met with a private speech therapist and he will hopefuly be adding her to his therapy schedule here soon. We have his big IEP meetings coming up in April, and we are a bit nervous to see how those go.
Jace is doing good. He had his speech clinic 2 weeks ago, and was referred on to the speech pathologist at our local school. Since he will be going to kindergarten there, they are just going to start his therapy there. He is also scheduled to go get his hearing tests redone now that his last tube has finally fallen out.
Emily is doing well. She's enjoying school. She's reading alot, and is now on to full chapter books. the other day during quiet time she was reading Brian's bible! She got a book teaching her string games, like cat's cradle, and such and she's enjoying figuring those out.
we leave for kansas city on friday and then brian and i will return saturday with no kids. WOW.

Jace is growing up

it's always been a little joke for Jace that he and i "go on dates" He will hold my hand when we are out shopping sometimes, sit next to me at dinner, or he and I may even get a bit of time to go out just by ourselves. He informed me that I wasn't allowed to tell anyone that we were dating cause he didn't want daddy to be sad. Then one day he had Emily help him make a paper ring and he gave it to me. He was so cute. When we were in Wichita last time my mom took him to lunch and out shopping. She asked him if they could go on a date and he told her no, because he would have to break up with me first. I thought it was absolutely adorable that he was being so sincere and faithful! :) then one day he makes this paper all decorated with hearts and love stickers. He wanted to take it to school but kept forgetting. finally he remembers and i ask him who it's for. he tells me it's for one of the little girls in his class. i ask him if he likes her. he says yes, but that they haven't held hands or kissed. i smiled. then as we were walking into his class he told me that his head was telling him that he needed to tell me that he was going to date this little girl in his class. i told him that i thought it would definately be okay for he and i to not date anymore. i told him that i was sooo much older than him and that with me being his mom and all, you know...i told him that she was his age and probably a much better match for him! as we walked in the door, he told me moms still get kisses and lovin though! this was all about 2 weeks ago. today they both walked out of their classroom together and as we were walking to the car jace was just smiling away. he says that she is nice and cute and pretty! i think it's beyond adorable!

in other news...Ariana is sick. She has a double ear infection and a sinus infection. She hasn't been super thrilled, as you can imagine.
Benjamin is doing well. He's working on PECS, and even used it twice yesterday without any prompting! I was very excited about that!
Emily is doing well. She's working on some state math requirements for school that is keeping her pretty busy. She takes after me, she loves the reading and writing but hates the math. When she puts her mind to it she is good at it, but she doesn't want to try. Last week it with Donuts with Dad at her school, and she had alot of fun. They ate donuts, read books, and got to hang out for a bit, just the two of them. Next month is muffins with mom!

Family Pictures Today!!!

you can see all of the 108 photos taken today at the photo blog link on the right, but the video above has my 12 favorites!

Medical Scare

It's been quite the day today. I got a call this morning that didn't start the day out well at all. one of Ben's therapists had been on a 10 day vacation in Mexico. She is back and did Ben's therapy session on Tuesday here at home. Apparently she hadn't been feeling well and went to the doctor. The doctor thought that she had meningitis. So they call everyone who's home that she had Ben at. Mind you she had been around Ben, Ari, Bri, and I. Ariana got sick yesterday and wasn't feeling well at all. The therapist was having the spinal tap this morning so they would know for sure in a few hrs. So i immediately call our family doctor and he tells me that I need to take Ari to the ER and have her tested and to carefully watch the rest of the family. We decide to give it a bit to wait to hear how the therapists test comes back. After 3 agonizing hours, with lots of thinking and freaking out, and staring at Ari and all, the phone rings. My heart was pounding. Her test came back negative. She apparently has a viral sort of infection and fulled a muscle in her neck. So it was actually 2 completely separate things that put together looked exactly like meningitis. HOLY COW. so I called our doc and he said obviously don't go to er and let's just watch Ari and see how she does as it's probably a cold.
As a parent these kind of things are just beyond scary.

Big WL Goal Reached!

Today I reached my first big weight loss goal! I've lost 88lbs and am now at 167! This is where my plastic surgeon wanted me to be to be able to have the surgeries! I'm so excited! My next appt with him isn't until the end of the month so I'm hoping to be down even more by then! YEAH!!!!

Settling Down

my knee has settled down for now. The doc is pretty sure it will flair back up but for the time being it seems to be doing well. We did a good job of making it to the gym every day, and we just did upper body workouts until I was able to start using my knee again. yesterday we started back with our full cardio.
Yesterday morning I weighed 169!!! I'm soooo excited about that! i'm having to constantly count calories lately as I'm finding that I haven't been eating enough, which causes me to get stuck on my weight loss.
School is going pretty good. i finished up my exam and presentation in ASL yesterday.
We are just finishing up this last stretch this month! The kids are going to go stay with my parents for their spring break the end of march beginning of april. it will give me time to get my research paper written and study for my midterms. fun fun! i'm also hoping to get some major spring cleaning done while they are gone!
We have a babysitter tonight and are going to go to dinner and a movie! It will be nice to get out for a bit by ourselves!

new pictures on dropshots! the link is to the right under our photos.

This is HUGE

Click Here for Full Story

LANDMARK FEDERAL COURT CONCESSION THAT LOCAL CHILD FROM ATLANTA DEVELOPED AUTISM FROM VACCINES

CHILD JOINS PARENTS IN PRESS CONFERENCE ABOUT THIS HISTORIC RESULT AT ATLANTA FEDERAL COURT HOUSE TOMORROW

LOCAL COUPLE FROM ATLANTA WILL JOIN WITH THEIR 9 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER, HANNAH, IN A PRESS CONFERENCE DISCUSSING THEIR DAUGHTER'S DEVELOPMENT OF AUTISM AS A RESULT OF VACCINES. THIS LANDMARK CASE ALLEGED THAT AUTISM WAS CAUSED BY CHILDHOOD VACCINES AND WAS SCHEDULED TO BE HEARD AS A TEST CASE BEFORE THE CONCESSION WAS MADE.

THE PRESS CONFERENCE WILL BE HELD TOMORROW, THURSDAY, MARCH 6, 2008 AT 11:30 AM ON THE STEPS OF U.S. FEDERAL COURTHOUSE AT 75 SPRING STREET IN ATLANTA, GEORGIA.

THE CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL HAVE ESTIMATED THAT 1 IN 166 CHILDREN HAVE AUTISM, AND MANY HAVE LINKED THE AUTISM EPIDEMIC IN THIS COUNTRY TO THE MERCURY BASED PRESERVATIVE USED IN CHILDHOOD VACCINES.

still alive

we are still alive, well i'm mostly. I got another cyst on my leg, like the one i had right before christmas. but this one is on my left knee. it was to the point that it was hurting to walk. went to the doc monday and since i had ari with me he didn't want to cut the whole thing out right then. so he cut it open a bit and drained it some and put me on 10 days of antibiotics. about an hour out of the doc the medications and numbing stuff wore off and i was really hurting. i'm pretty bruised and pretty sore. walking is slow and stairs are horrible.
will update more later, just wanted to check in real fast and let everyone know what was going on.