Sunday, October 20, 2013

Guest Blogger : Another Perspective

My Guardian Angel
~ Emily, Eli's biggest sister

All done all done, my brother Eli had surgery on his tonsils and adenoids. Not even twelve hours later he was aspirating or choking. ‘’Hurry! Hurry!’’ my mom said as I rushed to help her pack to go to the hospital.
A few minutes before Eli left for his final hospital time.  April 27th, 2013
 When my mom went to pack his medicine she told me to hold Eli. So I sat down and held his weak little body up on a boppy to keep him from choking. Little did I know that that was the last time I would hold and see my brothers little eyes, and the last twelve hours until my life would completely crumble or break forever. When my mom had everything packed and ready to go she told me that Lauren (one of Eli’s nurses) would be taking us to her house to sleep and then take us to her church the next day. So my siblings and I went with her to go eat dinner at her house. After dinner my siblings and I talked to Lauren and told her that we were worried about Eli (which we do every time he is in the hospital) so we all sat down and tried to comfort each other. The little kids went to bed and I stayed up and talked to Lauren some more then we both went to bed. Emily! Emily! Is the sound I woke up to. I screamed as there was a person trying to talk to me. I immediately started crying for I knew it was about Eli. As I was crying she told me that Lauren had left around ten pm, that her name was Amy, she was watching us and that she was supposed to take us to the hospital. She explained to me that Eli was not doing very well and that we needed to hurry and wake the kids up quickly so we could make it to Eli. She told me also that my mom tried to keep from calling her to bring us up here but now it was time and that my mom couldn’t hold it anymore. Tears ran down my face as I woke the kids and told them what was going on. I watched their faces when I told them it broke my heart to watch them react to the news.
All of us kids were in pajamas and we rushed out to the car. I carried Benjamin as he was crying and yelling Eli’s name. We got to KU and I ran inside and rushed to my brothers side sobbing. My mom was in there her face was wet with tears and my dad was by her side sobbing quietly. There my brother was limp, weak, and hooked up to all of these machines. His eyes were closed and he was barely breathing. I hurt my heart so much I became so anxious and depressed. Mom told me the machines were keeping him alive for the moment and basically breathing for him. My mom, dad, and I begged the doctors to tell us what was going on. I ran to my dad and wept really hard.

My siblings and I all went back and forth between two hospital rooms. One room had Eli and the other room was a place we could go to weep and try to keep from panicking (which didn’t work we all panicked) and both places were cold to me. Then later on the doctors and all of us had a meeting they said that Eli was barely breathing and that they were going to try one more thing to help him. They also said that the machines were only going to keep him alive for a few extra minutes. After the meeting I called my friend Anahi and we stayed on the phone for thirty minutes while I wept and told her what was going on and how she tried to comfort me. Mom, Dad, the kids, and I were talking when Eli started beeping. The doctors rushed and starting doing CPR on him. My mom and the rest of us screamed for them to stop. My parents had to physically go over there and tell them to stop CPR. They stopped CPR and my family just ran over to Eli and carefully pulled off all of his medical equipment. The rest of my family stood around Eli and we cradled him till he had to go.  Our family doctor Dr. Lewis came in and held my parents tightly as he announced time of death with teary eyes. We cried a lot, bathed Eli, put his pajamas on him, and said our last goodbyes.

We packed his stuff up in a cart and walked out of the hospital teary eyed. We all had mixed emotions. I was confused, angry and sad all at the same time. To this day I still can’t accept my brother is gone. I ask myself why he died and sometimes I blame myself to.

            Now five months later my family goes every once in a while to visit him. My family and I now know the meaning of the quote ‘’ Live everyday as your last remembering that for some it just might be.’’ It came so unexpectedly we went from playing with Eli to burying him in less than seventy-two hours. This is my family’s story.


Anonymous said...

I wish you didn't have this story to share and instead had your little brother there with you. Emily you are a brave and a very bright young girl. There is nothing you could have done differently for your brother. You loved him unconditionally and continue to do so. Thank you for being so open and honest in writing this.

Melody said...

What a beautifully written recollection of that day. You have a real talent of capturing moments using words.
Hugs and prayers!

Erin said...

Thank you so much for sharing, Emily, and thanks to your mother, too, for all her insights. I can't even imagine the pain that you are going through, but I am so thankful that I was given the opportunity to meet Eli and see all the love that you have for him and for each other.