Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Life Updates

What's going on in our household?

Emily ~ She's been pretty busy babysitting.  She's still busy as ever with her violin practice and private summer lessons.  She singing constantly and can never get enough of music.  She has been reading a fair amount as well.  She's still working on her duct tape projects and has started making some friendship bracelets again.  She's preparing for the start of 7th grade in just a few short weeks.   She has her rougher days where her grief all but overwhelms her.  At her age she's pretty open about simply saying she's upset and missing tiny.

Jace ~ He's busy as always.   Constantly moving.  He's been joining me at the gym frequently and has made some friends there that he enjoys chatting with.  He works out some, sips tea, and visits with friends.  It's his own time and for that he really enjoys it.  He's getting ready to start 5th grade in just a few short weeks as well.  His grief surfaces more at night when he stops moving, sometimes making sleep a bit tough.

Benjamin ~ He's in a mood lately.  He spends most of his days in his footed pj's playing his electronics.  We've had alot of issues with him eating and drinking enough.  Last week we ended up having to take him in and the doc attempted IV access as he was so dehydrated.  We are fighting constantly to keep him drinking as that is top priority.  His doc thinks it's his way of dealing with grief.  Ben is getting ready to start the 3rd grade in just a few weeks.

Ariana ~ She's girly as ever.  It's all princess games, girly dress up, and baby dolls.  She wears dresses every opportunity she gets and believes all of her dolls should do the same.  Her american girl dolls now own more shoes than she does!!  She deals with her grief by talking about death constantly.  She is the first to chat about Eli as though he's coming back any moment, and has no problem openly talking about her memories.  She will be starting 1st grade in just a few short weeks.

Hopkins ~ Our little furry friend is busy as always.  He's almost housebroken and loves staying close to  one of us.  He is a little over 3 months old and loves to run thru the house at full speed.  He can jump on the couch and spends all of his nap times curled up on the couch next to whoever might be sitting.  He loves his toys and has learned to play fetch with a tennis ball.

Bob ~ Busy working as always.  He's on a more stable work schedule so we actually get to see him a bit more consistently.  The stress of his job is definitely still high.  When home he and I have been working out together and going on long walks.

Me ~ I'm here.  I read alot.  I crochet.  I play games with bob or the kids.  I have been working out twice a week with a personal trainer and then as many more times as possible each week on my own.  I'm working on running and hoping to run my first 5K the end of Sept.  It's something I'm finding to really enjoy.  I still can't seem to keep up with cooking, which results in alot of ordering food.  The kids are loving that for whatever it's worth.  I'm learning to "hide" my grief a bit more and make it thru the days.  I can atleast finally give a good socially acceptable answer when the customary hi how are you questions come along.

We are starting family grief counseling classes where we can be around other families who have experienced grief of their own.  We are looking forward to sharing experiences with others, even though it's super nerve wracking as well.

It's been 2 months, 2 weeks, 5 days, 14 hrs, 45 min and 20 sec OR 11 wks 3 days 14 hrs.  We are surviving the best we know how and that's really all I can say at this point.

Life will be changing for us in the next few weeks.  We are excited and a bit apprehensive for these changes.  Either way we know that change is inevitable and necessary.

oh and as always we are constantly walking around eyes open, witnessing our tiny hero in the butterflies that hang all around us, the lone bird who sits on the line outside our house staring at our home, the lone bird that circles over his grave all so often, then glitter we find around, the wind in his chimes, and the rain that seems to always fall at the perfect moments that our souls weep.  Our eyes and ears and hearts are always open for signs of our little man!


Hollinchka said...

This is a beautiful update! Thank you so much for sharing!

Jenn Baker said...

I usually don't comment on peoples blogs, but your blog has moved me in such a way that I have to. I am so sorry for what your family has and is going through. I know that raw pain of loosing a child all too well. You are all in my thoughts.