Where's Heather????

Sorry it's been so long since I've blogged. So many things have been going on and I've been so tired on top of it all.
For starters I'm working. I'm in my 2nd week of training. I'm working at Tmobile customer care. My hours are horrible. Right now during training it's Sunday thru Thursday 11am to 7:45pm. I see Emily and Jace as they are leaving for school and the little 2 for a few as I'm getting ready. Then Bob keeps them up and I see them for about 15 to 20 minutes when I get home. It really sucks. I end up only getting to see the oldest 2 for a few hours friday evening and then saturday. It's screwed up my eating schedule as I'm at work for lunch and dinner but don't actually get breaks for all those meals. My schedule after training will be Tuesday thru Saturday 1:15pm to 10pm. I basically won't see my children at all on this schedule. As of now Bob has accepted a job with target and he will be working 4am until noon. So he and I won't see each other at all. He has an interview thursday for another job, but we shall see.
The biggest news in my life is this...Brian got laid off effective immediately friday. He is still getting his full pay, a severance package and unemployment. ALTHOUGH he has decided that I don't need any of this as I haven't been "good" and 500 other things he's said to me. He agrees to one thing and does another. Bob and I are scrambling to cover the child support money and the insurance that the children are now going to be losing. Since I have not been "good" I was even informed that he just "might not show up in KC". We were supposed to meet there in March to exchange the kids for spring break. He threatened to simply not show. Punishing the kids is clearly the best thing to do here. Go figure. I will not be going to KC now, because I refuse to put my children thru that. We shall see if he shows up here to pick them up. I will be hiring a lawyer, and will fight this if I have to. He has informed me that he knows "everyone" and that he has "everyone" here in Wichita watching Bob and I's every move and reporting back to him. He has informed us that he will make it impossible for us to get a job or find a home or do anything in this town. He says he will ruin us in this town. I can't imagine how bored "everyone" must be watching me drive too and from work and the grocery store. WOW. Such a boring time. So none the less I'm at the end of my rope. I feel as though I've been completely left to parent the children, with no support from Bri. I feel as though he can't get past hating me, and that he's letting that spill over to the children. I feel all that is going to happen is the kids are going to get hurt. And I will do everything I can to protect my kids. I will update as I know more.

The kids are doing good. They are loving school, and doing well. They have quite a bit of homework each week, which has been fine for Emily, but quite the fight for Jace. Ben is doing well, which is such a relief for me. Ariana is starting OT this next week, and we really like her new therapist. Again such a relief. I need to get pics up of the kids soon, I just haven't had time.

Like I said my stress level is high and Im not doing very well with any of this right now. I'm tired. I promise to try to keep up with the blog so everyone knows what's happening.
Oh and to "everyone" who's watching me, maybe we can do like a where's heather thing on my blog. that would be fun! when you see me atleast wave! :)

Valentine's Day

We went out Valentine's evening with one of my best friends and her hubby. Here are a few pics!

to my secret admirer

WOW. i feel so honored that you are so into me that you come to my blog repeatedly to comment to me. I'd love to speak with you more. Why don't you put on your big girl panties as we both know you love to say and post your name with your comments. or better yet shoot me an email or give me a call. don't forget i can see where things are posted from and i can hit this one super cool button. it looks like a little trash can and it deletes your comments. to bad it doesn't delete you. BRING IT ON!

Time is flying

Wow time is flying. Things have been so busy. We are getting situated. We moved into our home almost a week ago and have spent most of our free time getting things organized the way we want them. We are almost done. The kids are all in school and enjoying it. We've also had some sickness thru the house so that hasn't been alot of fun.
I'm doing pretty good all in all. It's been nice to be back in Wichita and around all of my friends and family here. It's been a bit weird though too. Some things have been easier than expected and some things harder. The kids are adjusting and situating really well, and I'm super happy about that. The boys have calmed down quite a bit already and I'm so relieved.
Tomorrow my littlest princess turns 2. WOW!! I can't believe how fast time flies! Her party is saturday here at our house and it is of course a princess party! She's excited, and is already in full 2 year old swing! :)
Bob and I will be in Iowa this coming Sunday thru Tuesday. I have my next surgeon appt and he has some paperwork that has to get done. It will be a fast trip. I'm super excited to hear what my surgeon has to say. My swelling is doing great and I've had 2 full days this week without any compression and I'm not wearing compression at night at all for almost 4 weeks, and I've now been laying flat at night for almost 2 weeks, and have started doing some laying on my side even! YEAH!! I feel like I'm doing really well! I went and bought new jeans today and I'm down 2 pant sizes! That definitely felt nice! :)
I will get pictures posted soon. I know I keep saying that, but it's just been so darned busy. I've hardly had anytime to sit down at the computer!

Moved In

We are officially moved into our home. We aren't 100% done unpacking, but almost. We should easily get it finished up this week! The kids are super excited to be here and so are we.
Tomorrow is Ben's 1st day of school. He will be going to school in the afternoons, and we are a bit nervous to see how that goes. He still takes naps quite a bit in the afternoon, so we are hoping he'll do ok without.
Emily and Jace are enjoying school so that's a good thing. They have gotten situated on the bus and in their classes.
Ari has her evaluations Thursday to get her occupational and speech therapies restarted. Other than that she's just staying busy! :)
I promise to get some blogging and photos done this week!

Unpacking sucks

It's been a LOOONG few days. Jace woke up in the middle of the night sunday night super sick. Emily started school on Monday and Jace wasn't able to start until Wednesday. They still haven't gotten all of Ben's paperwork right so he hasn't started yet. We've been running errands or at the house constantly working on unpacking. It's been a much slower process than I would have imagined. We are hoping to be done and moved in by Sunday. I promise to get back to blogging consistently soon. Thank you to everyone for all the comments and messages!

no more sugar coating

I have tried thru all of this to not bring any public issues onto my blog and to remain polite and respectful to all parties invovled but to be honest I've had enough for the fake smiles and bullshit. This is my blog and I will say as I please, since others seem to have no problem doing that.

My children are my world. I would NEVER trade them for anything. I would never call them a dilemma or think that they get in the way of my personal life. I have my children with me 52 weeks a year. I'm up in the middle of the night with a sick child, I'm doing homework, there when they are upset, heal owies, fix toys, arrainge schedules, argue thru IEP's and school systems so my child gets the best, I'm the one who does it all. I'm the behind the scenes driving force of EVERY single thing in their life. They could care less. Heck many times they complain about it. But I do it because I'm their mom, their parent. It is my JOB. It requires 100% of my time, focus, attention, energy, love, etc. When I had unprotected sex, I KNEW there was a chance I would have a child. I still chose to do it, and have loved every single moment of my childrens life. That was a MUTUAL choice, between 2 people. I'm so sick of the crap. I'm sick of having to be the only one to step up to the plate. I'm absolutely sick of it.
So I know for many of you, you have no clue what I'm talking about, I know some of you are amazed that I've held off this long on saying something, and then i know there are some of you who know every intimate detail of it all. Oh and I know there is atleast one of you reading this right now pissed off beyond belief. that makes 2 of us.
more to come.

We are in Wichita. We got here in right under 8 hours which is killer time. Had a pretty lazy last night. Going over to the new house today to get some some basics done. Bob finished packing yesterday and cleaning the house. This morning the movers come to load and he will head her. I'm definitely ready to get situated. More to come.