Friday, October 26, 2012

Crushingly Devastatingly Terrified

I've been behind on updating as I've been pretty sick.  I've been having migraines daily.  They are there when I wake and when I fall asleep.  My eye sight has been struggling as well as my hearing.  I've had facial and eye twitches.  I can no longer lay on or touch the back of my head.  My ears hurt to the point where I can hardly talk on the cell phone without them throbbing.  They put me on meds that made me even sicker.  I've been to the neurologist and the family doc.  They did an EMG and discovered that I have severe carpal tunnel with sensory nerve, motor nerve, and muscle damage.  They scheduled me for surgery November 2nd. 
Then they did neck xrays.  They saw some issues with arthritis at the base of my neck.  Next they did an MRI of my brain and neck.  This was on Tuesday.
My doctor called me today with results.  She apologized 10 plus times while giving me the results.  I listened and wrote notes as she talked.  Then cried and cried and cried.
I have an Arnold Chiari Malformation.   She is sending me to a neurosurgeon for surgery on my brain and spinal cord.  I'm terrified. 
I feel as though I'm being crushed.  I have felt my strength wavering over these last few months as we've gone farther down the road of Mito with Eli but this is more than I can bare. 
We told our kids tonight and our immediate family.  I simply don't have the strength to call everyone so please don't be offended if you weren't on the list of people we personally spoke with.  I just can't say it outloud that many times right now.
I don't know how we are going to make it thru, but I know that my friends and family are amazing and I know that they will drag me kicking and screaming thru this.
Feel free to text, call, email, drop by, or whatnot.  We know that we need the support of everyone around us.
I just don't know if I can do this.

I will get more updates up on Sunday.


Jancy said...

I am so sorry to hear this! I will continue to pray for all of you. I love you all and I hope you know that if you need anything you can call me anytime! If I'm not at home, I'm in prison....the number should be public information. ;) God bless all of you through these trying times. Lean on Him and He will carry you.

Becky said...

This is the time when those who love you will hold you up. You can't be strong ALL the time. Let your loved ones be strong for you now. And let those of us who pray for you and your family... support you with good wishes, prayers and lots of good mojo. You'll get through this because you have a support base who will carry you through it.

Many hugs... and even more prayers!

kysjayhawk said...

OH Heather. Your family has had more than their fair share of challenges, and now this. It doesn't seem fair. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with such a serious medical issue on top of everything else. My heart is aching for you. I know that it is hard for you to do, but lean on others. Please. Let me know what I can do. Hugs, prayers, happy thoughts to you and your wonderful family!

kysjayhawk said...

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this scary and horrible thing. Your family has had more than your fair share of challenges, and now this. ugh. My heart is aching for you. Do your best to let others care for you. You need it. Hugs, prayer, and encouraging thoughts your way.
Much love, Kay