pretty down

I'm alive, but pretty dang sore. I can hardly move around. When I do stand up and put any weight on it I have horrible cramps and spasms and the nerves go nuts. I'm again coughing up stuff from the anesthesia and have a sore throat from the tube down my throat. i can't stand up straight again, can't lay down, I can't use my right arm to help get myself up and down because it puts to much pressure on my right side. which means I pretty much can't get up and down without help. I'm running a consistent low grade fever, and back on a whole list of meds at different times thru out the day. i can't take a shower until atleast monday, so it's all sponge baths at the sink. the warm water was the only thing that helped relieve my sore muscles.
as you can tell i'm fairly grouchy right now. this is such a huge setback and it's really quite upsetting. i know i will slowly improve again, but these last 2 1/2 weeks have drained me and to now have to start all over again, in more pain than i was in the 1st time is pretty frustrating.
in good news...when it was time to be discharged bri had to run to target to buy me new clothes since mine were a mess from the issue. :) he bought me size medium pants!!! YEAH!!! i can't remember the last time i was able to wear a size medium. that was super exciting!
other than that i'm going to head to the living room and attempt to knit again. Ben's stocking still isn't done. It got pushed to the side a bit over the last few days.
thanks for all the words of encouragement. i need it now more than ever!